“I don’t think I asked what you deserved,” Andrew said, his tone deceptively casual. “I asked what Michael deserved and you said everything. Then I asked why you aren’t giving it to him. Because whether or not you feel you deserve him, Michael wants you.”

Wants.

As in the present.

As in still wants?

Andrew’s voice gentled. Softened. “Although, Ellie, you should know you absolutely do deserve Michael. You’re a beautiful person, inside and out, and you deserve to be happy. You’re not like me. I’m a selfish bastard because I absolutely do not deserve Kate, but I got her anyway, because I’m a selfish bastard who doesn’t care that I don’t deserve her. She makes me happy, so I went after her anyway.”

To her own surprise, Ellie giggled. She opened her eyes, which were just a little teary, and pressed her fingers to Andrew’s chest before reaching down to take Kate’s hand. Blue eyes full of worry, Kate smiled at her encouragingly. Behind her, Sharon’s mouth was set in a line, her dark eyes just as worried as Kate’s.

“I think you deserve Kate,” Ellie said softly, smiling down at the blonde woman. “Although I’m not sure I deserve either of you as friends.”

“Is there anyone you do think you deserve?” Sharon asked, throwing her hands up in the air in exasperation.

Ellie’s mouth opened and closed. Her insides seemed to wither again. Was there anyone she really felt she deserved in her life? That she deserved as her friend? She was so grateful to the friends she’d made at Stronghold... she’d always been surprised and amazed they wanted to hang out with her – they insisted on it actually. She’d always wondered why. Did she really think so little of herself that she wasn’t even sure she deserved her friends?

She was more messed up than she’d realized.

“Hey, heeeeeeeeey.” Sharon pointed at her, frowning fiercely. “Stop thinking, right now. I can literally see you doubting yourself. I’m going to tell you right now, you absolutely deserve us.”

“I’m not sure she deserves you,” Kate said rolling her eyes, but she said it in the opposite way that Ellie felt - implying Ellie was too good for Sharon. “Definitely the rest of us though.”

“Well her deserve-meter is obviously broken,” Sharon said blithely, completely ignoring Kate. Ellie wished she had that kind of self-assurance. Sharon gave Ellie a mock-stern look. “You’re going to have to use ours from now on and we’ll tell you what you deserve.”

A rumble of amusement vibrated through Andrew’s chest. “Don’t you think we should let Ellie figure out for herself that she deserves more than she thinks?”