“You can’t just quit the club though!” Sharon jumped in, leaning forward earnestly. She looked upset, reflecting Ellie’s own unhappiness about leaving Stronghold. “You need it, Ellie.”

“I’ll be okay.” She inwardly cursed at the absolute lack of conviction in her voice. She was normally a better liar. Even though she wasn’t looking at Olivia, she could feel the Domme’s gaze, burning into her side.

“Michael’s promising he won’t come back to Stronghold, so you don’t have to quit,” Kate said quietly. Unlike Andrew and Sharon, she wasn’t leaning forward, she was sitting back against the couch, studying Ellie as if trying to gauge her reactions. “He’ll stay at Marquis.”

A jump of joy at the thought that she didn’t have to quit Stronghold was washed away with despair at the idea of going to Stronghold without Michael there. Of chasing him away. Of being there without him.

“He thinks you blame him for the rape,” Kate said, her voice just as quiet as before, but she sliced Ellie to the quick with that simple statement.

“What?! No! Of course not! I just... Of course it’s not his fault, how can he think that?” Ellie’s mind whirled. She hadn’t meant to make Michael feel guilty or like she blamed him. How could she when he had nothing to do with it? He’d been out of her life by then.

Sharon answered, rather than Kate. “He thinks because he left, you were more vulnerable. That he wasn’t able to protect you, even from afar, because you two lost touch. He thinks if he’d stayed friends with you, if you’d kept talking, that you would have never dated Lawrence.”

Pressing her hands against her head, which was starting to hurt, Ellie groaned. That wasn’t what she’d wanted. She hadn’t meant to make him feel guilty or like she blamed him.

Did some part of her think it was kind of true though? She probably wouldn’t have dated Lawrence if she’d still been in touch with Michael. Because she would have been too busy crushing on Michael. Even if she’d gotten over her crush, she would have been too ashamed to tell him she was dating one of the guys he’d had to protect her from, no matter how much it seemed like Lawrence had changed.

But that didn’t make it Michael’s fault! She’d never blamed him.

She’d only ever blamed herself.