Porter laughed. ‘Women don’t like me,’ he said gruffly. ‘You’ll find that out soon enough.’

‘Anyway, I’ve got an interview at University College London tomorrow afternoon, so Mum gave me the money to get the train down from Nottingham,’ she continued. ‘I’m getting the eight o’clock train back tomorrow evening. It’s the first time I’ve ever been to London by myself. The first time I’ve had a chance to look for you. Mum would kill me if she knew but I don’t care about that. I went to the hostel, and talked to Matt. Nice bloke. He said you’d been in, and he reckoned you’d be down by the river somewhere.’

‘I can’t even look after myself, never mind a kid,’ said Porter bitterly. ‘You’d be better off without me.’

‘Bollocks,’ snapped Sandy. That anger again, noticed Porter. It was like sitting opposite her mother a lifetime ago. ‘No one’s better off without a parent. It doesn’t matter how useless they are.’

‘I’m the exception,’ snarled Porter.

‘No you’re bloody not,’ said Sandy. ‘Nobody’s an exception, not you, not anyone. You’re the only dad I’ve got. That’s probably bad luck on both of us, but we’re just going to have to live with it.’

Porter paused. She was looking straight at him, and he could feel the pride swelling up inside him again. But what was the point? he reflected bitterly. How could he have a relationship with her now? What was she going to do, come down for the weekend and kip down underneath whatever archway he found himself sleeping under? Trudge around town while he looked for some work washing dishes? Maybe meet some of his mates, like the Scottish blokes. Other divorced dads could take the girls skiing, whizz them around in their Jaguars and Land Rovers. Not me. I would offer her everything I have. Except I’ve got nothing, and how can you offer someone that?

‘It’s not going to work,’ he said flatly. ‘Life hasn’t gone straight for me, not for a long time. It’s not going to change now.’

‘It can change for anyone.’

Porter smiled. ‘You’re young,’ he said. ‘It’s easy to believe that. I’m forty-five years old. This is what I am. There’s nothing to be done about it now.’

Sandy was already fishing around in her handbag. She took out a crisp wad of notes and pushed it across the table. ‘Here’s a hundred pounds,’ she said. ‘There’s nothing wrong with you that a good shower and something to live for won’t fix. Get yourself bloody cleaned up, and start being a proper father.’

Porter pushed the money away. ‘Where did you get that?’ he said.

‘I saved,’ Sandy said. ‘Holiday jobs. Now take it, it’s yours.’

‘I can’t.’

Sandy stood up, and put her coat on. ‘You can and you will,’ she said. ‘You’ve let me down once. Now don’t do it again. When you’ve sorted yourself out, you can contact me at our old address. We haven’t moved.’

She lashed the belt on her coat angrily into place, and started walking towards the door. A couple of guys looked over from the TV with leers on their faces, but then went back to watching the TV. Porter took the bacon sandwich, and ate it in a couple of mouthfuls. Sandy had only nibbled on hers, so he ate that as well. It was the first proper food he’d had all day, and it started to make him feel better. All I need now is a drink, he told himself.