Am I really the enemy because my skin isn’t white and eyes are not perfectly round? I don’t think so. It is what’s in my mind and heart that matters.

Now it’s evening, the light is dying, and I’m alone and frightened. Oh Patrick! How did it come to this?

The funniest thing happened. Mother appeared in the attic, holding a tray with a hot meal from the kitchen. She didn’t say much, she never does, only that Father didn’t remember the secret passages the architect installed.

Mother smiled as she watched me eat, and when I was finished and I asked her why she had done this, she said I shouldn’t marry a man like Father. Which made me think about her life and how dreadful it must have been. I looked at her and realized she’s 42. She looks much older, too thin and sad, and she was younger than me when she had Larry. I thanked her and asked if she was coping with the loss of her sons. She stood. She bowed. In Japanese, she thanked me for my concern.

She showed no emotion, but I knew—she isn’t coping at all. Her grief is eating her alive.

My poor mother.

Now that the way is open, Hermione is regularly bringing me meals and letters. I am almost merry up here, except for one thing.

I’m going to have a baby.

“That’s not good,” Max muttered.

Rae sat up and looked at Kellen for a clue of how she should react. “Having a baby is a happy time, isn’t it?”

“I think this is going to make Ruby’s life even more difficult,” Kellen said.

“I don’t want her life to be more difficult.” Rae pushed her hair off her forehead.

Her concern made Kellen’s heart ache. “I don’t, either.”

“I wish we knew what happened to her,” Rae said.

Max came to his feet. “When I was on the mainland, I should have looked her up.”

Rae caught her breath. “I wish you had!”

“It never occurred to me,” Max sounded exasperated with himself. “I’m out of the online habit.”

“Rae, just think, someday someone might be reading your journal and be fascinated about your life.” Kellen smiled at her daughter.

Rae looked down at the book in her hand, and in a small voice, she asked, “Are you going to read it?”

“Read what? Your diary?” When Kellen understood what Rae meant, what she feared, she flushed with anger. “I am not! Do you think I’m like Gerard Morgade? A sneak and a bully?”

“Kellen!” Max put out a warning hand.

But he didn’t need to. Rae came to her feet and stood in front of her mother. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… I just, sometimes…” Her voice trembled with the onset of tears.