While he was shouting at me, a telegram came. My brother, Larry, hadn’t told us, but he had joined the British Air Corps. On his first bombing raid, his plane went down into the English Channel. He is lost to us. He is lost to the world.

Larry was father’s heir. Larry was intelligent, distant, dignified, thoughtful… He was so much older, 24 years old. I didn’t really like him, but I think Father’s expectations weighed on him. Now he’s free, if such a thing is possible. Before Father went into his study, he looked around and said bitterly, “Now I have only daughters, and Bessie is barren.” (She isn’t barren; Father picked out her husband, and her husband cares nothing for her.) But what a thing to say on the news of his son’s death!

Mother collapsed, sobbing. Larry was always her favorite, and she is devastated. Hermione and I put her to bed with a hot water bottle, and Hermione keeps a vigil at her side.

I’m going out to wait for Patrick. I now need him more than ever.

Dear diary, that which all have warned me about has come to pass. I have given myself to my darling Patrick. In the midst of grief and despair, we met in the redwood grove and he comforted me. I am now a woman, scarred by sorrow and warmed by love. I hope to see him again tomorrow.

Amid the ruins of my family, I am guiltily happy.

Kellen knew what this meant.

Did Rae?

Kellen peered at her daughter. Should she talk to Rae about what had happened between Ruby and Patrick? Was this the right moment to talk about sex?

Rae forgot her bruises and bounced happily on the couch cushion—and winced. “Yay for Ruby! Everything will be okay for her now. Right?”

Kellen could dodge the issue. But should she? Someone had to talk to Rae. She was The Mother. The full weight of tradition and responsibility landed this right on her shoulders. She swallowed, more nervous than she would have thought possible. “Do you understand what Ruby was trying to say? In her diary? About giving herself to Patrick?”

“They had sex, right?”

Rae was so casual, Kellen had to catch her breath. “Yes. How do you know that? What do you know?”

“Just the stuff Grandma taught us in school. Ejaculation, condoms, STDs, orgasm, sexual responsibility, same-sex relationships, ministration—stuff like that.”

“Ministration?” Kellen asked faintly.

“Yes, like when you have your period.” Rae frowned, deeply concerned. “Do you suppose Ruby and Patrick used a condom?”

Eep! “Unless he was prepared—no. And I think it’s highly unlikely he thought he would ever get the chance to…” Kellen hesitated over the term to use: Get lucky? Get laid? Being in the military had ruined all her delicacy of phrasing.

“…have intercourse with Ruby?”