We went to the bedroom, rested awhile, then loved again, drowsily this time. Afterward he fell asleep, snoring softly. I giggled into my pillow. Listening to Lloyd’s snores would be part of loving him, too. I lay sleepless throughout the night, my mind wandering from one scene to another—here we courted on the front steps of the Homeplace, and my kin would take me aside and tell me what a fine man he was; there we stood up before the preacher at our wedding. I saw Lloyd pace anxiously while he waited the birth of our first child. I saw him old, his hair and moustache turned to white but his eyes still a lively blue.

I watched him wake up in the morning, heard the catch in his breathing. He turned his head and threw his forearm across his eyes. He seemed to remember something, then he turned to me and smiled.

“Morning,” he said, and pulled me to him.

“Morning. You slept good last night.”

“Sure did. The sleep of a contented man. How about you?”

“No, I didnt sleep a wink. Couldnt. Had too much on my mind, thinking about everything that happened.”

“Uh-oh.” He kissed me and got out of bed. “We better git dressed. The widder has likely set a place for me at the breakfast table.”

“You can eat breakfast here. I’ll run downstairs and bring something up.”

He stumped into the front room on his crutches and dressed. I put on a nightgown and stood in the doorway. He buttoned his pants and looked up.

“I dont want you to take this too serious,” he said.

I felt as though a cold hand grasped my throat. “What do you mean?”

“Just what I said. I aint the kind of man to fall in love with a woman. Dont know why, but that’s the way it is.”

“But I thought—”

“I never said I loved you, did I?”

I didn’t want to answer him. “No. You didnt say that.”

“What happened last night was nice. But dont expect nothin more from me. My life is crazy. Hit aint no kind of life to drag a woman into. And I aint no kind of man for you. You deserve more, somebody to pay you lots of attention. You’ll find somebody like that, I know it.”

“Dont you dare tell me what I deserve and dont deserve. I dont want nobody mooning over me, nor no rich man throwing money at me. I just want somebody to love me, somebody I can love.”

“Then I surely aint no man for you,” he said. “I aint never loved a woman and never will. I got nothing to give you. Absolutely nothing.”

“Why didnt you tell me that last night?”

He came closer. “I didnt think it would make any difference. You wanted me. Aint that the truth?”

I blinked back tears and nodded my head. “But hit werent all I wanted,” I said.