‘Ignore my mother, Ashray. She does not understand marrying for love. This is not her way. She will come to accept it eventually,’ she said and gave my hand a light squeeze, her eyes filled with compassion. If I was to be honest, I did not hear the rest of what she said after that; my mind fixated on what she had said about love.

‘Love?’ I repeated, hopeful that I had not misinterpreted what she was saying. She replied with her smile, an expression that I longed to see for more hours of the day than I cared to admit.

‘Yes Ashray, love.’ She extended her hand and placed it gently on my face. I returned her smile, feeling that it inadequately matched what she had just admitted. My mind, as it always did, took hold, sending me too far into the future, away from the present. A million questions flew around, but I tried, for the remainder of our time on the date, to listen intently to what she said. At the end of the evening, I accompanied her home, despite her protests, and at the front of the building, I lightly kissed her cheek before saying goodnight.

By the time I got home, Maa was sleeping, and the only other person I could speak to was Rishi. I sent him a text telling him how the evening had gone. He replied that it was a bit early to be speaking of love, and although my head agreed with him, my heart told me differently. I couldn’t help it; I was falling in love with this woman, and I had no control over it.

Over the next two weeks, Sakshi and I spent almost every evening together. I fell for her, deeper and harder than I had for any woman before her. In fact, I had always been too afraid to let anyone come even near the boundaries I had created for myself. But with Sakshi, all my fears and insecurities vanished. I was convinced that she was the one I had been waiting my entire life for. We spoke eagerly of the future together. Of how she would complete her studies and of how, finally, we could both live the futures we had always dreamed of. We wanted the same things, and felt passionately about our shared dreams. I felt bad, though, for pushing Rishi away. I tried to apologise, but he insisted that love came first. Underneath it though, I could see that he was hurt.

At the end of the month, I eventually convinced him to come out with me after work, and we caught up with all the news we had missed out on. Sakshi didn’t mind, and Maa reminded me that friends were just as important as a girlfriend. Rishi listened intently as I recounted stories about Sakshi, but I tried to make the conversation about him. I will admit, I had missed my friend, missed his laughter and infectious enthusiasm.

When I got home that night, Maa was slumped in her chair in front of the television; she did not look well. I woke her to take her to bed, insisting that we see a doctor the next day. She waved me away, telling me it was just a cold and some extra weight she was carrying. We laughed as I put her to bed, comparing how she used to tuck me in when I was a boy to how I was trying to tuck her in now. I made a mental note to make an appointment with a doctor soon. I would have to ask HR for the day off, but I didn’t think it would be an issue. My client portfolio base was strong, especially for someone in their first month; I came into work early, and often worked late at night from home.