I dont disagree. I think. Even if I probably couldnt say it quite so elaborately. Or wouldnt.

Elaborately. Is that code for hysterical?

No. I take it you wouldnt characterize your brother’s racing motorcars as a death wish.

No. I’m not a fan of nonsense.

You said that a number of physicists have taken up mountain climbing.

Yes. But it wouldnt have worked for him.

Why is that?

Because he wasnt afraid of heights. There’d be no purpose in it.

What was he afraid of?

Depths.

Was he afraid of driving fast?

I never met a racecar driver who was afraid of driving fast. They all think that wrecks are for other people. There’s an old saw in racing to the effect that it’s not going fast that kills you it’s stopping fast. No one talks about it but it’s always there. There’s a photograph of Nina Rindt taken at Monza two years ago. She’s beautifully dressed and she is sitting looking out across the racecourse. Her husband has just been killed but she doesnt know it yet. Bobby and I were at their house in Geneva. There was a Formula Two racecar hanging nosedown from the livingroom wall. She’d been a model and she was very beautiful. She came from a wealthy Finnish family. They were very much in love, she and Jochen, and I was very jealous. Fool me. I didnt know that we were to be sisters in the only way that mattered.

You said you were shameless where Bobby was concerned. How shameless?

How much prurience are you up for?

I dont know. I dont know how prurient it gets.

I told him about a dream I had.

A dream.

Yes.

Of intimacy.

Yes.

What was his reaction?

About what you would expect.

He was horrified.

He had cause. I suppose.

It was particularly graphic.

It was pretty graphic.

Did you frequently have such dreams about your brother?

No. Mostly I dreamt about us being together. Living together. I dreamt about us being married. Not so much now. Not so much. Do you find that sad? I suppose not.

I dont know what I find that.

We were at a cabin in the woods. Maybe sort of like the cabin that my father lived in but it was on a lake. I think that it might have been here in Wisconsin. It was in the fall of the year and there was a fire in the fireplace and there may have been snow on the ground. I’m not sure. It was a big stone fireplace and you could see the flickering of the fire from the bedroom and there were candles everywhere.

When was this?

Two years ago. Do you want me to tell you or not?

Yes.

There were candles everywhere and we were naked and he looked up at me from between my legs and smiled and his face in the candlelight was all shiny with girljuice and then I woke up. My orgasm woke me up.