The wives. Yes.

Can I ask if he was a philanderer?

I dont know. I dont know that he wasnt. Did you get cigarettes?

Yes. They’re in my case. Somewhere. Here.

Thank you.

I brought a lighter but I didnt think about an ashtray.

I can use the glass.

All right. Did your parents fight?

No. Toward the end he wasnt around all that much. He spent a lot of time in the South Pacific blowing things up.

That sounds pretty much a criticism.

It’s not a criticism. Boys like blowing things up.

You’re serious.

Yes.

How old were you when they separated?

I dont know. I think it was sort of gradual.

What else happened? Neither ever remarried.

No. I think they loved each other. It just became more and more difficult. She looks nervous. She’s smoking faster. Of course this could be a false tell. She’s a devious little bitch.

Me again I suppose. A false tell.

It’s not important. What the else was that happened was that my mother had what was then called a nervous breakdown.

A nervous breakdown.

In the parlance of the times. She was hospitalized. A couple of times. We went to live with my grandmother. It was never discussed.

How old were you?

Four. When I started grammar school at St Mary’s in Knoxville I wasnt six yet. I was at the head of my class by the end of the first week and that shut them all up.

If it was never discussed how did you know what was going on?

It wasnt hard to put it together. I remember my mother lying unconscious on the diningroom floor and I didnt know what to do but Bobby started crying so I started crying too, even though I wasnt sure how I felt about it.

Bobby started crying?

Yes.

How old was he?

He would have been ten.

This was in Los Alamos.

Yes.

What do you think was the nature of her emotional problems?

I dont know. After she was diagnosed with cancer the other symptoms went away. Then she died.

Did you ever ask her?

Once. She denied everything. Pretty much.

I would think it would be hard to deny.

How long have you been in this business did you say?

All right. Did you talk to your brother about it?

Yes.

What did he say?

He said that she’d had a nervous breakdown. I suppose you’re seeking a genetic disposition to an unspecified and possibly nonexistent illness.

Maybe I just want to get a sense of how you feel about your family.

Where can I put this?

You’ve only taken a few puffs.

I know.

Let me have it. It strikes me that these aberrant experiences of yours commenced about the time your mother died. Were you very close?

We got along okay. But she listened to the doctors and she went to her grave thinking her daughter was crazy.

Was that painful for you?

Yes. It was. Worse after she died. I could see what her life had been and I felt bad about it. I needed my grandmother and I didnt really take into consideration that as for myself I was not what she needed at all. I didnt take into consideration the fact that she had just lost her daughter. A short time after that I had a dream about her. My mother. She was dead in the dream and she was being carried through the streets in a boat on the shoulders of a crowd. The boat was heaped with flowers and there was music. Almost like band music. Trumpets. When the cortege came around the corner I could see her face pale as a mask among the flowers. And when it came down the street past me. And then they passed on. And then I woke up.