“Never been happier,” Sam said. “The last month has been a bit chaotic.”

“You mean the part about Nelson dying, Dad suddenly becoming president, us having to move to the White House, getting a dog, several murders, a school shooting and a standoff in Iran?”

“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?” Nick asked in a teasing tone.

“What the heck does that mean?” Scotty asked, seeming confused.

“That’s an awful reference to the assassination of President Lincoln while they were at Ford’s Theatre,” Nick said.

“Oh jeez. That’s in very poor taste, and I declare assassination to be a swear word while Dad is the president.”

“All in favor say ‘aye,’” Sam said.

“Aye,” they all said.

“And it passes unanimously,” Sam declared.

“We don’t like that word,” Scotty said in all seriousness. “In fact, it’s become my least favorite word in the English language.”

“We hate that word,” Sam said.

“I don’t want you guys worrying about stuff like that,” Nick said.

“What?” Sam said. “Us worry?”

“I’m surrounded by the finest security in the entire world. Nothing is going to happen to me.”

“Dad, you’re the president and everything, so I hate to say don’t be naïve, but really… Don’t be naïve. Of course it can happen to you. People hate you simply because of the office you hold and that you belong to a party they don’t align with, or you do things like say we need reasonable gun control when everyone knows we need reasonable gun control.”

Sam felt sick just thinking about the many things that could happen to Nick or the many people who hated him for the reasons Scotty noted as well as plenty of others.

“I think we need to limit his time online,” Nick said, affecting a lighthearted tone when the subject was anything but.

“At what point will he officially be smarter than us?” Sam asked.

“Uh, duh, I went past you a year ago.”

Even though she was still in the red evening gown that had made her feel so sexy earlier, she tackled her son and took him right down onto the rug, the way she would a perp on the job. Holding his arms behind him, she said, “You’re not so smart that you saw that coming.”

Scotty was laughing so hard, he couldn’t breathe.

Sam much preferred that to his serious concerns about Nick being murdered.

“Say uncle.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. That’s what you’re supposed to say when you find yourself in a pickle like you’re currently in.”

“I’d think a feminist like you would request the word ‘aunt.’”

Nick snorted with laughter. “He’s got you there, babe.”

“Maybe so, but who’s the one flat on his face, pinned to the carpet by his mommy?”

“Only because I don’t want to hurt you.”