Cover

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Dedication

To the girls who know where they’re going.

And to the girls who are still finding their way.

Epigraph

“Let yourself be gutted.

Let it open you.

Start here.”

-Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things

Finley

FINLEY SITS CROSS-LEGGED ON HER bed, wearing the glossy blue Coraline wig she bought last Halloween. Her parents had put the kibosh on trick-or-treating when she became a teenager, but she and her friends still dressed up to hand out candy to the neighborhood littles. Last year Finley wore the yellow raincoat and matching boots of her favorite literary character. Today, along with the blue wig, she’s wearing a T-shirt that says THE FUTURE IS FEMALE. She has great expectations for the rest of the world, but for Finley Donoghue, the future is now.

She checks out her mirror image on the laptop screen in front of her and crinkles her freckled nose. She doesn’t look much like herself anymore. There are dark circles under her eyes that no amount of concealer can hide. And under the wig, her actual light-brown hair—which used to hang almost to her waist—now resembles baby duck fuzz. Which is fine for baby ducks, but not so much for a girl who loved the way her ponytail would swing as she bounced on the sidelines at football games. All her clothes have gotten baggy, but not in an intentional, sexy way. She dusts a little bronzer across her cheeks to tone down the paleness of her skin and shines her lips with some rose-colored gloss. Satisfied—at least as satisfied as she’s going to get—Finley presses the record button on her computer and smiles until her cheeks dimple.

“Two years ago, we bought an old boat and made a plan to sail to Key West. We circled a date on the calendar, and by my calculations, that day is tomorrow.” Sadness sinks like a stone in her heart, stealing her breath, and her smile slips. “I always believed the three of us would be going together. I never expected my body to have plans of its own. But here we are. Or rather, here you are.”