A few smiles spread across the others’ faces. ‘Yes. The Mouse hates her.’

I took ‘The Mouse’ to mean Harriet, who I’d attempted to help. Yeah. She probably did hate me – but not as much as I hated this stupid job. And there was no way I was going to be one of their contestants. I might love watching the show but I had zero desire to be part of it.

‘Thanks,’ I said, ‘but no thanks. Find someone else.’

Belinda rose gracefully to her feet and directed her gaze at Armstrong. ‘Make it happen,’ she declared. Then she swept out, her assistant throwing me a nervous look and scooping up the offending umbrella before dashing out after her.

With an effort, I stood up and glared. ‘I am not going to be a contestant.’

Morris Armstrong smiled at me. ‘I think the lovely Ms Battenapple is right,’ he murmured. ‘You’re perfect.’

‘No. Nuh-huh. Absolutely no way.’ I hardened my eyes, hoping he’d remember that I had a secret mission to complete for him. Just because Winter was now on the team didn’t mean I couldn’t still be a useful spy. ‘You need me for other things.’

‘Not any longer.’

I pointed at the cups. ‘Someone has to make you coffee.’

‘I’m sure one of the other runners can do that.’

‘But…’

Armstrong held up his hand. ‘Would you rather be fêted as one of the contestants on the greatest show on earth or run around in the rain on errands?’

I’d rather lie on my sofa and eat chocolate. ‘I thought you had fond memories of your time as a runner.’

‘I lied. It’s horrific. We all know that. We’ve all been there.’ There were several murmurs of agreement from around the table. ‘This is a fast track to the top, Ivy. You’ll be amazing. You’re just what we need. You could clean and get blisters and bow and scrape. Or,’ he deepened his voice to show just what a fabulous opportunity I was supposedly getting, ‘you could be a contestant on Enchantment. Do you know how many applicants we get?’

‘So choose one of them.’

‘We don’t have time. You’ll have a far easier time on the show than behind the scenes.’

He had a point. But it would be hard to do any proper investigating if I were being filmed at every moment. Winter probably wouldn’t like it either.

‘Nope. Still not doing it.’

Armstrong stood up. ‘Do you want to be here?’

Not really. Not with zombies running around the place. ‘Yes.’

‘Then become a contestant.’ He shrugged. ‘Or get out.’

Arse. His eyes didn’t waver. He wasn’t bluffing. ‘But Adeptus Exemptus Winter…’ I began.

‘I’ll worry about him from now on. It’s not as if you’ve told me anything about him yet anyway. He probably found out about the pentagram in Trevor Bellows’ trailer from you.’

I was prevented from giving an answer by Mazza, who burst in with a newspaper in his hands. ‘I was told to show you this!’ he gasped breathless.