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Chapters (16)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. one
  5. two
  6. three
  7. four
  8. five
  9. six
  10. seven
  11. eight
  12. Acknowledgments
  13. Also by Joanna Hershon
  14. Praise for St. Ivo
  15. A NOTE ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  16. Newsletter Sign-up

The room was getting darker. Leda was probably not in this time zone, but somewhere, at some point this month, she sat in a room and watched the light drain out of it.

“Where are they?” Sarah asked.

Kiki shrugged.

Sylvie let out a brief cry but then quieted immediately.

How tense Kiki had looked at the notion of Sylvie’s waking up, how tense and genuinely frightened. Being a mother, Sarah reflected, was all too often like starring in a horror film. Then the screen door screeched open, and Kiki hissed, “Shh,” at Matthew, then Arman behind him.

Matthew nodded. He stood up straight and cracked his neck. “Okay,” he said to Sarah. “Let’s move on. It’s over.”

Sarah went to him, put her hand in his. He didn’t shake it off.

“Um,” asked Kiki, “what’s over?”

“Our fight,” Sarah explained. She gave Matthew’s hand a squeeze.

“Okay, good.” Kiki brightened. “So, before I lose my nerve—Matt, I’m going to ask you a favor. Okay?” Her hands were balled into fists, Sarah noticed, as if someone had told her to stop talking with her hands. “Arman, I’m asking.”

Sarah looked at Matthew hopefully but he didn’t meet her eye.

“We’re all right,” Sarah whispered to Matthew. “We are.”

“I can’t believe you,” Arman addressed Kiki heatedly. “I cannot believe you are doing this.”

This seemed only to embolden her. “Arman went into the city yesterday not to shoot a film but because he couldn’t deal with seeing you. He called me from his cell phone at four or five this morning, too stressed to come inside the house because he didn’t want to reveal any of this to you and he was afraid that he would.”

“Reveal what?” Matthew asked.

“That’s who you were talking to,” Sarah said, genuinely relieved that Arman wasn’t cheating on Kiki.

Arman walked outside, the door banging shut behind him.

Kiki continued as if she barely noticed. “He thought he’d crack and let you know what’s going on with us, how deep in the hole we are, and he’s too proud to admit any of it. He was so angry that I invited you here.” Her face twisted up into a painful grin.

“Why did you tell us he was on a film set?” Sarah asked.

“Have you never told a lie?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means give us a break,” Kiki said. “I’m asking you to understand. Maybe you can’t, but—”

“No,” Sarah said, “of course I can.”

“How much money do you need?” Matthew asked.

“I want to be clear,” Kiki said. “That’s not why you’re here.”

“Okay,” Matthew said.

“That isn’t why I got back in touch.”

“I don’t care,” he said. “Just tell me.”