Chapters (21)
Anna opened her handbag. She pulled out a handkerchief. She rose quickly to her feet and walked away, turning her back on him. She was drying her eyes. The receptionist at the desk looked down in embarrassment. Then Anna turned back around. “When Nora told me what an asshole you were, she wasn’t telling me half of it!”
The deputy chief heaved a sigh.
“Now I need you to tell me: What was I for you? Just a quick fuck?”
“Two, actually.”
“Right. Two.” Anna laughed, with a note of hysteria in her voice. “And not even especially memorable ones, trust me.”
“Never claimed any different. Listen to me, Anna, sit down for a second.”
“No!”
“Please.”
The woman shut her eyes, took a deep breath, and went back to sit down next to Rocco. “Listen, let’s just think of it as a scale, with two pans. On the one side is you, and you’ve loaded up the pan, while on the other side is me, and I’ve put in practically nothing. So this is what happens.” He fluttered both hands. “You see? There’s no balance. If we want to get some balance, there’s only one of two ways. Either you remove some weight from the scale, or else I add some . . .”
Anna looked him in the eyes. “So you can’t do it?”
“I can try. But you need to give me some time.”
Anna nodded. “Why did I ever fall in love with you?”
“You can’t ask the innkeeper if the wine he serves is good!”
The woman finally smiled, and her eyes became enormous. “My mother always told me: ‘Anna, stay away from the men who make you cry and only chase after the ones who make you laugh.’”
“Your mother was a wise woman.”
“You’re sort of a mix of both kinds, the crying and the laughing. Shall I sleep at your place?”
“And then what? We’ll just be back where we are tonight, and instead of two quick fucks we’ll be up to three. But nothing will have changed.”
“Have we come to this? Are you actually giving me the ‘I don’t deserve you’ line?”
“No, I’m just trying to explain the way I see things between us without hurting your feelings.”
“So basically, you don’t love me. Say those words, and we can call it quits.”
Rocco took a deep breath. He took both of Anna’s hands in his. “I don’t love you.”
Anna reeled from the blow. She shut her eyes, and two tears leaked out from under her large eyelids. “It hurts a little to hear you say it, but at least you said it.” She opened her eyes again. “Thanks.”
“For what?”
“For the honesty.” She picked up her purse and got to her feet. “I hope you have a good night, and a very nice day tomorrow.”
“Like fun. I’m going to prison tomorrow.”