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Contents ( 12)
  1. Speak, Silence
  2. Contents
  3. A Note on the Novel
  4. Toronto, Sarajevo
  5. Paris
  6. Toronto, Sarajevo
  7. Sarajevo
  8. Foča, Sarajevo
  9. Sarajevo, Foča, Toronto
  10. The Hague
  11. Sarajevo, Toronto
  12. Acknowledgements

She said, There will be trials in The Hague.

For the women too?

They say, yes. It is a shock every time a woman tells. Do you know what it is to have blank sleep?

I did not.

Let’s play chess, she said.

In that first game she stopped me from castling and my king never found safe haven. The game was over in twenty moves. She was good and I had not played since I had lived at home, when my father was still alive and we set up the board on Sunday afternoons. I can still feel the slant of warm sunshine over his companionable play. Edina played aggressively and with great concentration, controlled the centre of the board. My style was dishevelled, and I upset the expected order because I had not studied the game. Still, I enjoyed playing with her and we began to know each other without words, through our wooden men and their movement through each other’s territory. At one point I did something unconventional—irrational, really—and she studied it and realized I had no plan and she glanced up through her hair at me and said, You are only a wood pusher. I said, No, not at all, and near the end of the game, when it became clear she would win, she joked, You are poisoning me with these bad moves. In this world she was sovereign and good-humoured and at the end of our game she swept all the pieces into a box and then she relaxed.

What is your daughter’s name? she asked.

Biddy.

How old?

Almost twelve.

Does she like school?

Yes. Science.

Who takes care of her when you are away?

My mother.

She told me that her mother too had helped with her daughter, Merima, after the war. She said that Merima had to learn a new language and was now at university. She said that her daughter would never come back, so she had to travel to see her in Vienna. She said, I missed a lot with her because of the war.

The golden light at the bar flickered with a power surge.

I asked, What happened to your husband?

Gone.

In the thin light her skin looked eaten.

She asked, Isn’t Kosmos waiting for you?

Probably.

Edina lit another cigarette and said, Let’s play again. Timed game. You must try this time.

I asked, What does zlatna ribica mean?

She set up her pieces and gave me white and said, It means goldfish. If you catch a goldfish you get three wishes. Maybe you will catch one and wish for help with your game.

I had to smile. I opened with e4, and she moved so quickly I had difficulty following and I had to take time to consider, to try to understand what was happening. She was crushing me, and quickly she took my second bishop and I was working hard but she could see an amateur’s patterns ahead. I struggled to keep up. She said, Tomorrow I meet for the first time lawyers from The Hague. They want to build a case. They will look at my files. Would you like to come?