He said, Now you will not be in Europe so often.

I will still visit and you can come to Toronto.

He said, I waited for a long time to come back to my fucked-up city and I like it here. Maybe one trip to Toronto before we all die.

I said, You need to come.

Then I laughed, I will buy a burial plot for three, for you and Edina and me.

He said, We will always be together.

Where shall I buy the plot? I asked. No one dies where they are born.

I want to, he said.

I said, She loved Ivan. We need a plot for him too.

He’s buried already, said Kosmos. You too are becoming end-of-the-earth crazy.

Are you sure you don’t want to come home with me?

I am sure.

What about our daughter?

Bring her here. I will show her the kapia on the bridge over the river Drina.

She will love you.

I know, he said.

She needs to know you.

She is almost grown up, he said.

She still needs you. So her pain does not go into the next generation.

—

I saw Mak with his two sons and their girlfriends in a café in the old town and he called over loudly and I waved to him but did not want to join him. He got up anyway and came over and said, You no good? What is happening?

And I said, It is nothing. It is only the trial. But it is over now.

I loved the stoop in Mak’s shoulders and how he leaned his ear toward me. With one arm he hugged me and said, War is never over. When I am dying I will cry out about the war. I have seen old soldiers do this. Put aside sadness. What is that word in English meaning do something to make past better?

A trial?

No, more like spiritual.

Redeem?

Yes. Live, he said. Redeem.

—

I slept at Edina’s apartment, brought in food and wine and cigarettes.

She said, A trial changes a person. Have you written anything yet?

I’m working on it.

You have been thinking about this for a long time.

I know.

She said, Your writing is like the bridge in Jablanica. Do you know it?

No.

Never mind. Let’s play.

We set up the board but after only a dozen moves she said, You still play like a chess tourist.

I laughed, Can’t help it. I get distracted.

You should study more.

I know.

I pretended to be upset. Through her window I could see the mountain and the first grey in the blackness and the stars fading, only Venus still bright and low. I wanted to sleep. But she poured us a glass of slivovitz and said, There is something I want to tell you.

She was wrapped in an old blanket. Her cigarettes were on the frayed arm of her chair. Then she stood and walked over to a drawer and took out the old photo of her and Ivo. She touched his face with her finger and she began to talk as if she were alone with him.