Karla asked again, What do you mean by giving them pleasure?

I cannot express myself. Please, I cannot tell you this.

Please, just use the formal words. It is all right.

Even from behind the glass I could feel the stillness in the courtroom. She was again in the chaos and choking, covered with their filth. Darkness behind her eyes. Who in this courtroom knew what it was to be grabbed by men’s hands, clothes stripped off, burned with a cigarette on her nipple? Who had heard themselves scream?

She had tried to forget about it in Vienna. And these lawyers arrived and disturbed her peace.

he pointed his finger and chose me they were all drunk and stinking I was fighting them and there was the cold blade of a knife against my cheek a man is behind holding my wrists and a man is in front ripping off my clothes, putting his face on my face, breath-stink and I am naked, they tore away my clothes and opened their rough pants and now my shoulders are jerked and my hands are grabbed by one on each side, everything happening all at once, I am not me, a man is kneeling over me and squeezing my jaw open and putting it in, his thing in my mouth and down my throat and I am choking and another is pushing my legs apart and jamming himself inside and one of them has cracked my knuckles with a gun butt and he is putting it in my hand and on the other side too and stick is all over my arms and face and lips and legs and they are on me like a pack of wild animals, changing places and I cannot see who is where, I am just trying to get my breath and finally they are finished and I am lying alone and they are zipping and reaching for cigarettes and matches and now one of them has grabbed my wrist and jerked me up and I have trouble to stand

Karla repeated, Please, we need you to tell us exactly what happened. Just use correct language. Did you have a penis in your mouth?

Yes.

What else? Please just describe.

I cannot say.

Please try.

Try.

They came in together and all got on me at the same time.

How many?

Five.

Where were they on your body?

I can’t say.

Just use formal words.

Say it.

One in the mouth, one down below, one in each hand.

That is four.

There were five. I think they took turns below.

How long did this go on?

It has never stopped.

I don’t remember. An hour? It felt long.

What happened when it was over?

I was destroyed.

They left. I went to the bathroom for water. A young one came in, Tolja. He tried to give me a hand grenade. He said, They might cut your breasts. Please, if they want to cut you up, pull this pin. You will be gone, but quite a few of them will be gone too. I was too afraid to take it. One came in with a knife and he said, Which breast do you like better? But Tolja stood over me and said, Please don’t do anything to her. She’s such a wonderful girl. So the one with the knife spat at him and called him a name and then he raped me again and then a commander walked in and he stopped. That is all I can remember.