His lawyer looked at the judges as if to say, You see what I am dealing with. He thinks he can endear himself, plead directly with you. Then the lawyer lifted his palms to the ceiling as if to say, Why does he not know that this is not the way of the court?

Judge Smith turned another page, thinking, and in a firm voice told Dragić that of course he had the right to speak in court but that he strongly advised the defendant to use his counsel. He asked Dragić if he understood what he was pleading guilty to. He slowly explained, unfolding one finger at a time from a closed hand as he spoke: the components of a crime against humanity are three—an attack on human dignity, attacks on civilians, and part of widespread or systematic attacks.

Dragić must have believed, in the first hour of his trial, that he was in control of his destiny, that a trial was a conversation between him and a judge. His eyes were so wide open that the whites were visible all around their frantic dark centre.

He said, I am only trying to tell the truth. I did not understand the words systematic attacks. I raped but I did not do that.

This man who laboured over writing his name, who could hardly read, was revealing too rich a narrative for the court, one that was beyond its conventions. He was making the court after his own image. Dishevelled. Disorderly. Too human in its confusion. No one had foreseen a confession in the first ten minutes of the trial, even the lawyers with their training in twists and quiddities. It would not be seen as justice. It was intolerable and had to be contained.

Judge Banda ordered a closed session with the lawyers, and court was adjourned.

—

The next day, I watched everyone arrive back in court. Karla was beside Sue and William, and the interpreters settled themselves in their booth above, where they worked in pairs and alternated every half hour. From their glassed-in room at the same level as the judges’ desk, they could see the whole courtroom. In the rows of desks below were the clerks and legal assistants. Nita and Joop sat near the witness chair. Dragić entered between two security officers, but his lawyer’s chair was empty. All rose for the three judges.

Judge Banda asked everyone to sit.

Then the court was informed that the defence lawyer had disappeared from The Hague.

Dragić stood and said, I want to represent myself. I will tell the truth and that will be to the prosecution’s advantage so they can quickly finish this case. Only I know what really happened, but I need to ask some legal questions. I have no one to get legal ideas from.

Karla looked at the judges with swift intention, poised to object, eyebrows raised. Who would take control? Judge Smith assured Dragić that this was his right. He assigned him a temporary counsel and Judge Banda adjourned for ten minutes for them to meet.