Back Sow the Seed
Chapters (52)
  1. Cover
  2. Margaret Dickinson
  3. Dedication page
  4. Contents
  5. Part One
  6. One
  7. Two
  8. Three
  9. Four
  10. Five
  11. Six
  12. Seven
  13. Eight
  14. Nine
  15. Ten
  16. Eleven
  17. Twelve
  18. Thirteen
  19. Fourteen
  20. Fifteen
  21. Sixteen
  22. Part Two
  23. Seventeen
  24. Eighteen
  25. Nineteen
  26. Twenty
  27. Twenty-One
  28. Twenty-Two
  29. Twenty-Three
  30. Twenty-Four
  31. Twenty-Five
  32. Twenty-Six
  33. Twenty-Seven
  34. Twenty-Eight
  35. Twenty-Nine
  36. Thirty
  37. Thirty-One
  38. Thirty-Two
  39. Thirty-Three
  40. Thirty-Four
  41. Thirty-Five
  42. Thirty-Six
  43. Thirty-Seven
  44. Thirty-Eight
  45. Thirty-Nine
  46. Forty
  47. Forty-One
  48. Forty-Two
  49. Sow the Seed
  50. Note
  51. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  52. Copyright page

She felt his gaze upon her and turned to meet his eyes. They were full of compassion and tenderness. ‘Last night wasn’t like you, Kate. Not a bit. I know that. Something awful must have happened.’

She looked down at her hands, twisting together in her lap. Tears welled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks, splashing on to her hands.

‘Tell me,’ he urged her gently.

So she told him. Everything. From the very beginning, as far back as she could remember and even before that; about her mother, and Danny’s mother; about her father, who was also Danny’s father. And about Danny – oh, she told him all about Danny. She cried as she told him, but there was laughter too as she remembered everything. It was like reliving her life again. All the happiness – and then all the sadness.

When she had finished, she found she was lying with her cheek against the rough fabric of his jacket and became aware that his hand was stroking her hair. ‘You poor kids,’ he murmured.

She became aware of his nearness and sat up, suddenly embarrassed. ‘I’m sorry.’ She tried to smile, but her mouth quivered. ‘I seem to be saying that a lot today.’

His smile was sympathetic. ‘Has it helped?’

She nodded, and said, surprise in her tone. ‘Yes, yes, I think it has.’

‘They say it’s good to talk your troubles out. I sometimes wish . . .’ He leaned forward and pressed the starter. The engine leapt into life and whatever he had been going to say was drowned in the noise.

‘My dear Kate,’ her stepfather wrote.

I was grieved you could not find it in your heart to attend Danny and Rosie’s marriage. On what should have been a happy day for her, the dear girl was heartbroken that you were not there. I know how you feel – and even though these words may deny it – I do understand. But years have passed since you learned the truth and you should by now have come to terms with it. Try to understand, my dear, that life must go forward. You and Danny cannot remain in the safe cocoon of childhood, all in all to each other to the exclusion of all other relationships. It is unhealthy and damaging to you both. A man needs a wife, and you, my dear, should have a husband and children. Danny has done the right thing in breaking free of those bonds. It does not mean he loves you any the less – only, perhaps, differently.

Tears blurred the rest of the words before her eyes. But this time they were not tears of bitterness over Danny. Kate was surprised to find how much her gentle stepfather’s rebuke hurt her, made her feel small and petty-minded. She sniffed and, like a small child, scrubbed the tears away with the back of her hand.