When I left town, I did it with a heavy heart and an even heavier mind. I cried the whole time, and the only thing I could see was Beau’s face in my mind. The way he looked at me on our wedding day; the way he looked at me when we got home after the party. I shouldn’t have doubted him or dropped this bombshell on him out of the blue. I should have stayed and spoke to him about it. I wipe the tear away from my face again, opening the phone and seeing the message that I sent to him yesterday, but he never got back to me.

I see a bird fly by and dive into the water and then spot a couple of people walking up toward me. I’ve seen these people for the past three days, and each time, they’ve smiled at me and said hello. Like clockwork, they walk by me, and both of them say hello to me, then smile and move on.

I get up now and walk back up the steps to the house I’m renting. I walk into the cool house and look around at its emptiness.

Three days ago, I drove into town, thinking this was it, and I could live here. I went to the supermarket and walked down aisle after aisle, and it bothered me that I didn’t see anyone I knew. It also bothered me that I smiled at people, and they just nodded at me. God, this is what I wanted, I told myself. This whole thing of no one knowing me is what I was looking for, yet having it makes me feel more alone than I’ve ever felt in my whole life.

I prepare myself a little dinner, but all I do is move it around on the plate. I miss my family. I miss everything about what was my life. Did it suck at times? Of course, but it just made it that much more special, and I see it now.

I’m about to go and lie back outside and watch the sunset when the phone beeps and my heart skips a beat when I think it’s Beau. I wonder what he’s doing at this moment. I wonder if he is sitting down eating, thinking of me and wishing I was there. Instead, it’s a picture from Kallie of Ethan smiling at the camera.

I text her back right away.

Me: Thank you for the picture. I miss him.