“You’ve been in love?” she whispers. She looks down, and I swear I see tears in her eyes, but she grabs her glass of wine, and when she looks back at me, there are no more tears. “You’ve never told me,” she says while cutting her steak and avoiding my eye contact.

“I’ve never really told anyone,” I say, hoping she looks at me, but instead, she drinks another sip of wine. “Have you?” I ask as she leans back in her chair, my heart hammering in my chest as I wait for her answer.

“The steak is cooked perfectly,” she says, avoiding the question. I want to press it again, but I’m not sure she’ll even remember this conversation. So instead, I just finish my steak without the both of us really talking. She gets up first and walks to the kitchen, bringing her plate with her. “This was one of my best dinners I’ve ever eaten.” She looks over at me, smiling, her cheeks pink and her eyes a light blue. She walks over. “Thank you.” She bends, putting her face in front of mine. “For cooking,” she says and kisses me on the lips lightly, then she moves away just a touch. “And for everything.” She kisses me again. This time, her tongue slides in with mine. I want to get lost in her kiss. I want to get lost in her, but I don’t want our first time to be because she’s drunk.

“You’re welcome,” I say softly as my hand comes up to touch her face. “I would do anything for you,” I say. I see her swallow and then move out of my touch. I try not to let it hurt, try not to dwell on it, but when I get up and bring the plates into the kitchen, she starts walking around me, holding my hips again. When she runs her hand up my back softly while she walks by, it takes all my willpower not to ignore the fact that she drank too much and touch her the way I want to touch her. When the kitchen is cleaned up, I lean against the counter, and she mimics my stance. “Are you tired?” I ask.

“Not really.” She walks over to me and wraps her arms around my neck, getting on her tippy toes. “We can maybe go into the bedroom.” My hands go to her hips, and I want so much to take her to the bedroom. I want so much to tell her all of the things, but I don’t want her to have to get drunk to be with me.

“I think I’m going to take a shower,” I say and see the look in her eyes change and her hands fall from my neck. Her shield is suddenly up.