I tried to think of something to say, but my head was a clogged drain, all my words clumps of hair in the pipes, and I thought, I was mute when Cal and I started our friendship, and it looks like I’ll be mute the day it ends.

Cal was in a talkative mood and didn’t notice. And he had October on the brain. He reclined his seat, rubbed his face, and said, “It’s been a long month, bro. She and I have barely spoken. I call her and instead of calling back she texts. It’s bullshit. I mean where is she that she can’t talk to me?”

It wasn’t a rhetorical question. He looked to me for an answer.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Cal.”

“Fuck. I know.” He fiddled with the radio, couldn’t find anything he wanted to listen to, and shut it off with a smack. “Has she said anything about what’s going on with us?” But then he waved me off. “Forget it. It’s not like she’s going to tell you. She knows where your loyalty lies.”

Stupidly, guiltily, I mumbled, “I think she’s looking forward to the show tonight.”

“Yeah, well, I’m more worried about after the show,” he said. “I finally got her on the phone last night, but she wouldn’t answer any of my questions and I lost my shit with her. Outright asked her if she was seeing someone, and you know what she said?”

My body stiffened. I knew October had spoken to Cal the night before, but she’d gone outside to talk, and when she came back in, I didn’t ask her what they’d talked about.

I kept my eyes on the back of the Tesla in front of me. Its license plate read “0PECL0L.”

“She said, ‘We’ll discuss everything after the show.’ That was it. No denial, no protests, no calling me crazy or paranoid. I didn’t even get a lecture about our stupid fucking free love.” He turned the radio back on. “I know she can be private as fuck, but you see her almost every day. Have you noticed anything that might be worth mentioning?”

My mouth felt like it was stuffed with newspaper. I shook my head. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault. It’s my fault. Trust me, I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I’m ready for whatever she’s going to throw at me tonight.” He turned his torso and head my way. “The thing is, all the issues October has with me, with our relationship, she’s right.”

I looked at him for a second. His resolve seemed inexorable.

“I can’t expect her to sit around waiting for me while I’m gallivanting all over the world, doing whatever I want to do, with whoever I want to do it with. Did you know that when she and I first started dating, she toured Europe with me for three months?”

I did not know that.

“She turned it into one of her art projects. Photographed the empty venues during soundcheck, in every city we went to, and then she hand-sewed song lyrics onto the photographs. Showed the work at a gallery in London. It was a big hit. Back then she wanted to work and be with me. She was committed to it. To us. And you know what? I’ve never reciprocated that.” Cal started opening and shutting the AC register on his side of the truck. “It was the best three months of our relationship. But have I ever been there for her? No. Obviously she’s going to get bored and lonely. How can I blame her for that? I have no right to be mad at her if she is seeing someone. I just want it to stop. I want to move forward. I want another chance.”