Crap, I’m out of material. Dan’s heart was half in it, and he couldn’t think of anything.

“This is really a pro forma quid pro quo survey, ma’am, and we have just a few dozen more questions. Now, it’s listed here in our research that your dog has cooties. Is that correct?”

“We don’t have a dog.”

“I see, so you’re the one with the cooties?”

“Listen—”

“No need to explain, I appreciate your honesty, Miss Bloomquist, and I’m just going to move on quickly here. If you could answer yes or no to the following, we’ll be done right quick. Who do you think would win in a fight between a gerbil and a hamster?”

“Uh-huh, okay, no . . .”

Yup, she’s too smart for this, Dan realized, then dry laughed. “Everyone says the hamster, isn’t that something?”

“Okay, whoever this is—”

“Miss Bloomingdale, just to sum up, our research here shows that you are single, spend too much on deli meats, and contracted herpes from a hamster. Is that correct?”

“Very funny, jackass.”

And right then Dan hung up, a jumper cable of nervous thrills. Stick looked disappointed.

“She was on to you.”

“Yeah. Survey only works with half-deaf old people. She’s not gullible enough.”

At that moment, the phone rang. Sticky and Dan freaked out.

“Could be your mom.”

“That would be weird.”

Sticky picked up on the second ring. “Hello, welcome to Arby’s, home of the big beef in your mouth. This is Kyle, how can I make your day taste special?”

A moment of listening passed, and Sticky made an oh-shit face at Dan.

“Hang on, he’s right here.”

“Don’t give me that!” Dan melted into a mortified jelly.

“It’s Cady. She knows it was you.”

“Shit.” Sticky practically punched Dan in the nose as he shoved the receiver in his face.

“Hi, Cady! Ha ha. You got me.”

She should be pretty cool about this, Dan thought. I didn’t take it too far . . .

“Dan Malone, how dare you!”

“I’m sorry. How did you know?”

“I star sixty-nined the call. When that croaky O’Donnell kid picked up, I figured it was you.”

“All in good fun.”

“You’re a dick. Don’t you have anything better to do than bothering me?”

She’s not that upset, Dan realized. She’s pretending too. “Sorry, we’re bored. Sticky and I are stuck at his house.”

“You know my mother is going to ask me who called and you’re going to get me in trouble.”

“Sorry. Sticky made me do it.”

Sticky punched Dan in the shoulder.

“Ow. He’s really the mastermind of the whole thing.”

“Well, you’re going to have to make it up to me.”

Dan heard giggling in the background. “What are you doing home on a Friday? Who’s there with you?”