‘Why would you want to fit in when you were born to stand out? Why do you have to even look at those pasty-faced ladies who make you the centre of their lives through their gossip?’

‘I can shut my eyes and ears, but the trouble is I cannot shut my mind. To them, I am evil. A killer. They see me merely as a third wife who has forgotten her place.’

‘And since when did we start measuring our acts on the scale of good and evil? They’re just words. We know that.’

‘Yes…’ She touched her face. ‘It doesn’t make sense to me, you know, why it affects me so. It’s just annoying to have them prick at me.’

Krishna wished he knew the right thing to say to comfort her. He was good with words, but when it came to truly healing those close to him, he failed miserably. He could manipulate, but not mend.

‘You know there are days,’ Satyabhama continued, ‘when Rukmini stands beside you at official gatherings, looking radiant and womanly... I build dark worlds, dark stories, a dark shell around my mind, stories about how Rukmini is a dullard, a stupid cow who cannot tell sword from a spear. They help me keep reality at bay, to wake without screaming.’

‘Despite knowing I wouldn’t have you any other way?’

‘It’s not about you, Krishna. I know you like me the way I am. It’s about me; that I allow myself to feel vulnerable this way. It is moronic.’ She blew out another malodorous ring of smoke. ‘I wanted to learn pain and steel, but perhaps I should have learned people instead. I am meant to be left in a battlefield.’

‘Maybe…but then I think of those hundred girls out there, who you saved from a life of fire.’ He pointed to the distant figures of the Silver Wolves. ‘I think you learned life instead.’

Satyabhama said nothing. Krishna knew this stuff bothered her, no matter how wrong she was. Satyabhama was a diamond, but there were times she could be glass. He knew nothing he could say would make her feel better. Only Satyabhama could do that. He remembered a young soldier who had apprenticed under Satyabhama, coming up to her after visiting Goverdhun and saying, ‘This shouldn’t have happened’. Krishna remembered what Satyabhama had replied, and decided to use it now. ‘Satya, a wise woman once said, there is no way things are meant to be. Things just happen, and then it comes down to what we do.’

Satyabhama smiled, and continued from where Krishna left off, ‘We can only guard those who cannot protect themselves, for they are the ones who need watching.’