I’d had quite enough of this, it sounded like an editorial in the Boy’s Own Paper or an epilogue by a YMCA Warden, but, just as I was about to break in, the Earl was back in his stride, his pink and bulging eyes fixed on the ceiling, his voice sonorous.

‘Any man armed with this simple knowledge is invincible: he can cut a great swathe through the female ranks like an Attila as long as his glands hold out. He need not be handsome, glib or rich (although, a motor-car is considered pretty essential these days), indeed, it often rather helps to be poor, scrawny and tongue-tied. Even the portly need not despair, for experienced gels dread the assault of a bony pelvis and many of them associate us chubbier chaps with their fathers, for whom they have usually nurtured a furtive, pubescent passion.

‘As I say, the mere knowledge that it’s a bowler’s wicket should be enough to give the would-be stud all the advantage he needs, but while I’m on the subject I might as well dish out a few practical tips for which I have no further use. Are you taking notes?’

‘Well, no,’ I said, ‘as a matter of fact I – ’

‘Then do so. Hey, waiter, bring a glass of brandy for my er, for this er, gentleman. No, no, you know, that other brandy. Now, listen attentively.

‘(A),’ he said, pronouncing the brackets perfectly, ‘you must flatter the target continuously and as grossly as you can without actually giving yourself the giggles – you simply cannot spread the butter on too thick. Never mind if they don’t believe it, the subject will nonetheless fascinate them.

‘(B); Remember that women feel the cold: I cannot stress this too strongly. A woman sitting in a draught is a mere inanimate lump, while a woman with warm hands and feet is an army with its flank turned – a battle half-won. See to it.

‘(C); Generations of readers of Peg’s Paper have been taught that the way to win a man’s heart is to encourage him to talk about himself. So never talk about yourself at all; this restraint will so craze them with curiosity that they will often surrender their chaste treasure in an effort to win your confidence.

‘(D); Fill them to the brim with hot, rich, food at frequent intervals, this is both cheaper and better than alcohol, which makes them weep or vomit or behave in other dreary ways. Food induces in them a delicious languor, most conducive to venery. Try some today – you can get it at Fortnum’s, of course, and Paxton and Whitfields and, er, Fortnum’s … places like that.