Mickey clearly had different tastes, taller, possibly younger, trendily dressed, beautiful red hair (though his woman had big bosoms and I did too but that was the only thing we shared).

But staring at the disaster that was me, it was no wonder Jake Spear didn’t even allow his eyes to wander to my hair. And it was no wonder that boxer in his gym paid no mind to me.

I was no longer young.

“But I’m not dead yet,” I whispered to my reflection.

On that, I shrugged my purse off my shoulder so it fell to the counter. I dug my phone out. And I made the call I needed to make.

“Hello, Amelia, how’s your evening?” Josie answered.

“I need lunch.”

There was a heavy pause before, “Sorry?”

“You. Me. Alyssa. Lunch tomorrow. Emergency,” was all I could force out, my eyes still glued to the mirror.

“Are you okay?” she asked, concern heavy in her tone.

“No. No, I am far from okay,” I told her.

“Do you need me to come over now?” she went on.

“Lunch,” it came out as a squeak. I was losing it. I could feel it happening. “Tomorrow. Can you call Alyssa?” I closed my eyes tight, fighting my thoughts telling me I was being dramatic, selfish, thoughtless, demanding, weak. Telling myself these were good women, they’d get it. If I let them, they’d get me. I opened my eyes, whispering, “Please, Josie.”

“Anything, Amelia. Anything you need,” Josie whispered back. Yes, a good woman. “I’ll call Alyssa. Are you going to be okay until then?”

“Yes.” It came out hoarse. I cleared my throat. “Yes. I’ll be okay.”

“Okay,” she said as if she didn’t believe me. “I’ll text you with where and when.”

“Okay, Josie,” I replied.

“You sure you’re going to be okay?”

No.

But I was sure I had to keep trying.

At least for a little while.

“Yes, I will be and Josie…?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you,” I said softly.

“As I said, anytime, Amelia. Anything.”

Yes, I so very much liked her.

I just hoped she would keep liking me.

“See you at lunch tomorrow,” she continued.

“See you at lunch, Josie.”

We said our good-byes and rang off.

Then I went directly to the garage and got some boxes, went to the kitchen and got the packing tape and went back to my bathroom.

Unless they were absolutely necessary to remain clothed for the next two days, I boxed up everything.

Everything.

Clothes. Shoes. Belts. Handbags.

I also tossed in all my makeup.

I dragged it all to the garage, took a shower, got into the only nightgown I’d left for me and got into bed.

It was early.

It took forever to fall asleep.

But I finally did it and wished I didn’t.

Because when I did, I dreamed of watching Mickey marry a tall, beautiful redhead who was not me.

* * * * *