No! What? Stop! My brain was not allowed to go anywhere near there. Nope, nope. That was a restricted subject I would never, ever examine. Lock on door, key thrown away.

“Are you all right?” he asked, suddenly beside me, carrying two large shopping bags, and though the space was small, I was still surprised.

“What?” My voice was sharp, my heart beating far too fast.

“You seem . . . preoccupied.”

“Well, I’m not,” I countered. “I’m totally present. Very much, you know, in the moment.”

And apparently babbling. Great.

Arthur regarded me like I was possibly losing my mind, and I would not disagree.

“Well,” he said. “I’m happy for you. Are you getting anything?”

“Huh?”

He arched an eyebrow. “As a reminder, your ‘very much in the moment’ is taking place in a gift shop and I was inquiring if you were purchasing anything.”

“No.”

“Then shall we join the others?”

“Yeah, okay.”

He shot me a look that could almost be construed as concern. “Are you certain you’re all right?”

“Yep!”

To prove it I spun on my heels and walked right out of that reindeer gift shop. After a moment, he followed me.

At that exact second, two identical men with identical ruddy beards entered through the front doors. They looked like former NFL offensive linemen dressed in identical heavy, brown, waxed cotton coats bearing the Sedgewicks’ Ranch reindeer emblem.

Ladies and gentlemen, Drakkar and Axe Moses, twin brothers who were about ten years older than me and who had worked at Sedgewicks’ for as long as I could remember. They were big and loud and, according to Grandma Jo—who somehow always knew such things—vegan, because they had an abiding love for animals in all forms and that did not allow for consuming them.

“Reindeer wranglers are in da house!” one of them—I’d never been able to tell them apart—announced with a deep, booming voice that required no amplification.

Arthur and I stopped. He looked over at me and raised his eyebrows. It was a simple gesture, one I was sure he had done before. But this time I felt a flutter of butterflies.

I looked away at once.

Grandma Jo, Dr. Raymond, Dad, and Aunt Esha came out of the café together.

One twin took our tickets and shoved them in his coat pocket while the other addressed us with a big smile.

“Howdy, folks! Welcome to the inaugural reindeer season here at Sedgewicks’ Ranch. I’m Axe.”

“And I’m Drakk.”

“And it looks like y’all signed up for the reindeer tour and the group sleigh ride. Now, the reindeer tour lasts about a half hour to an hour—”

“—and y’all get to feed ’em.”

“—and pet ’em.”

“—and love ’em.”

“But when it comes to the sleigh ride,” Axe (I think) continued.

“—we’re just gonna let y’all know that our sleigh is real cool—”

“Real cool.”