“Honey, I don’t want to have this discussion here.” She glanced in Val’s direction before refocusing on me. Her forced smile was at least partially genuine. “Why don’t you get your things and come home with me tonight?”

“I told you, I have to be here early for my shift.”

“You’ve done early shifts from home before. It’s a five-minute drive. I can bring you if you like. Or now that you’re sixteen you can drive yourself.”

“I don’t have my driver’s license,” I reminded her.

“Oh, right. We should get you your license before you go back. When is that, anyhow? Have you already bought the ticket?”

“No.”

“Okay, we’ll do that before you go back—”

“I’m not going back.”

As soon as I heard the words tumble from my lips out into the world at large, I sat up straighter. Because I hadn’t meant to actually say them. And not so definitively.

But I had.

Mom tipped her head in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I-I . . .” A deep breath. “I don’t want to go back to Barrington.” I think. Maybe.

She carefully set her cup of hot water on the coffee table to focus on me. “Why?”

Her gaze was sharp now, and I knew I wasn’t going to get out of this, regardless of how tired either of us was. Still, I made the attempt.

“For a lot of reasons.”

“Finley.”

“Fine. Because I’m not good at it, Mom.” There. I’d said it to her. “My grades are lame and I have no friends and there’s nothing for me there. Nothing.”

Except Arthur.

That thought slipped in when I wasn’t looking and I couldn’t deny it. He was my biggest reason to return at this point and the lure was undeniable. My gut told me it wasn’t enough. We hadn’t even kissed, though maybe we were headed that way a few minutes ago.

Still. We definitely weren’t a couple. To make an enormous decision based on a few moments and the feelings of connection that were only now starting to seem real was foolish and risked being self-destructive.

And besides, “I shouldn’t be there.”

This caught Mom off guard. “What do you mean? Of course you should.”

“Ayisha should have that spot, not me.”

Mom blinked in surprise. “How did you find out about that?”

Now I blinked in surprise. “So you did know?”

“Well, of course. I helped her apply.”

“No, I meant that I took her spot.”

“That I don’t know for sure. No one does.”

“But I probably did, right? She withdraws and I get in.” Mom remained silent. “Why didn’t you tell me? That she was the one who found Barrington? That she’s the reason I’m there?”

“It wasn’t my place, honey. And Ayisha didn’t want people to know after Nicole asked her to withdraw.”