I know her type. Cheerleader. Cheerleaders are sugary sweet and lovably perky. They run on an endless supply of enthusiasm and hopefulness. Guys just want to put them in their pocket and take them home to meet their mother. That’s not me.

She’s touching Austin, so I hate her by default. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to having a bit of a girl-crush too. She’s that beautiful. Watching her massage Austin’s shoulder, I drain the last of my drink and decide to grab another.

It’s a party, right?

So begins my new drinking game. Barbie touches Austin’s arms, I take a drink. Barbie smiles at Austin, I take a drink. Barbie laughs at Austin, I take a drink. Austin laughs at Barbie, I chug.

It’s easy to keep them in sight while hiding. Even half-naked in Jackie’s stupid dress, I’m nothing compared to the Barbie-esque women walking around. Austin hasn’t glanced my way once. But then again, his Barbie has been keeping him pretty entertained. She’s laughing again.

Take a sip.

Oops.

That’s the end of that cup.

Better get another.

Is this the third or fourth?

How long have I been here?

I close one eye, trying to get the hands on my watch to stay still long enough for me to read the time. I huff and give up when the rest of the room spins as well.

I sway and grab what I think is the wall. I only notice the soft fabric gripped in my fist after it’s too late. Luckily, the ground is there to break my fall. I pull the drapes right down on top of me, the curtain rod hitting me in the head with a comedic thud.

What a joke.

Even with the music turned up and the noise of the crowded house, everyone in the room turns to see the commotion I caused.

Everyone.

Including Austin.

Including Barbie.

Kill me now.

On the upside, at four drinks in I’ve kept my promise to Jackie and then some. As predicted, I came, I saw and I was conquered by my own awkwardness.

“Are you okay?” I hear a guy’s concerned voice in my ear as someone’s hand wraps around my arm, pulling me up off the floor. I don’t know him, but he seems sweet and cute enough. He’s shorter and scrawnier than Austin, but he’s no hobbit. Plus, he’s holding me and not Barbie, so I’ve got that going for me, which is nice.

As I get up off the ground, I slide my arms around his neck the way Austin showed me. Since he’s shorter, it’s much easier. I don’t have to stand on my tippy toes to reach. To my surprise, the stranger doesn’t pull back. He puts his hand on my waist to steady me.