‘You’re missing the point of a Christmas tree farm. They were raised for the farm. Whatever money you earn from them will go back into the farm – believe me, you have a lot of work to do here, and every bit of your income will go towards that for the next infinite amount of years. The only reason I took care of them is because those particular trees are special, but they were never mine to begin with. They’re yours now, everything on this land is yours, and every bit of money you make from it will be returned to make it better. Farming is an endless circle. It takes a lot of years to make a disposable income – Evergreene was doing well for himself, but those missing years have been a huge setback. You’ve lost a lot of his crop, and a lot of what’s left might be unsalvageable, and you only have a few weeks to learn everything you can about Christmas trees and how to shear them, cut them, and make people buy them.’

‘Is that as impossible as it sounds?’

He shrugs. ‘Depends how dedicated you are and how much you want this. If it’s too difficult, are you going to hop back in your car and leave in January?’

We’ve stopped at the edge of the bridge and there’s a little pebble beach leading down to the shore of the river and Gizmo is pulling to go onto it. Noel bends down to unhook his lead and I can’t help watching as his big hands give the tiny dog a scruffle before letting him go, his bright eyes watching him potter around in the stones. This isn’t the first time he’s mentioned leaving when things are difficult. It’s obviously what he expects. Instead of answering, I look around. The mixed scent of all the different species of Christmas trees is heavy in the air, the little stream is burbling away beside us, a trickle of water that looks like something that should be in a country park and it’s unimaginable that this is literally my garden. For the first time since my parents died, I feel like I could live again.

I look back at Noel. ‘There’s something about these trees that makes life seem better. It’s unreal that I own this place. You make it sound so special. I was terrified last night, I thought it was a huge mistake, but talking to you and now walking around it … how could this ever be a mistake? I’m not going to run away because somewhere as special as this is worth any amount of work I have to put in.’