Dad grew up in Scotland and always talked about selling their house and buying a farm there in their retirement. He always wanted to return to his Scottish roots. He never got a chance to live that dream. And as I stared at my laptop last night, that auction suddenly seemed like the answer. It wasn’t just because I was slightly worse for wear. It was because, without that Prosecco, I’d have talked myself out of it and convinced myself to do the sensible thing and not buy a Christmas tree farm in Scotland.

I should be terrified. I should be getting onto the estate agents and begging for a refund on the grounds of diminished capacity. Obviously, this is a mistake. Of course I don’t actually want a Christmas tree farm in Scotland. I live in the tiniest flat known to mankind in the centre of London. What am I supposed to do with Peppermint Branches Christmas tree farm in the little village of Elffield in the northernmost corner of Aberdeenshire?

That’s what I expect myself to be doing. But the very small part of me that doesn’t feel completely sick from the hangover is fluttering with excitement. I don’t want a refund. I don’t want to back out. I saw that auction over a week ago and have daydreamed about it ever since. How amazing would it be to own a Christmas tree farm? I’ve spent hours picturing wide open fields, rows of lush green trees, snowy ground, sleigh rides, and the scent of pine needles hanging in the air. Subconsciously, I knew exactly what time that auction ended. I didn’t inadvertently stumble across it just as it was ending, and accidentally enter a bidding war with the other anonymous bidder, driving the price up by a grand each time, until my final bid went in at £52,104. With estate agent fees and whatever other expenses will be added on, that leaves me with under £2000 left in my savings account for whatever investment the tree farm needs. The price was so close to the amount I got from the sale of Mum and Dad’s house that it’s almost like fate.

It wasn’t a drunken mistake. I wanted it, and in the cold light of day, I still do.

And coffee. I definitely want coffee.

***

‘A Christmas tree farm?’ My best friend, Chelsea, says incredulously as I put two pumpkin spice lattes down on the table between us. She deserves that much for abandoning her Saturday morning plans with her husband, Lewis, and coming out for a coffee with me.

‘I like Christmas and I like trees, so why not?’ I say with a nonchalant shrug. I don’t know why I’m trying to act like this isn’t a monumentally big life-changing thing.

‘Well, I like Easter eggs but I’m not going to go out and buy Cadbury’s.’