‘Probably just as well because we can barely fit a tree into the living room as it is, Lewis would lose the plot if I came home with one for each room. Unless they’re really tiny. Have you got any tiny ones that would survive a journey in the post? It seems wrong that my best friend’s got a Christmas tree farm and I’m getting a dusty plastic one out of the attic.’

I stand up straighter. ‘That’s actually an amazing idea. How many people would be thrilled to have a tiny tree? Loads of people must be without the space for a big one but would still like a real Christmas tree, and there are loads here. The years without shearing have allowed the mature trees to produce cones and their winged seeds have spread on the wind and sown themselves. Little trees are springing up everywhere. Noel said they need digging up and putting through the shredder because they’re not evenly spaced and they could’ve cross-pollinated with an unknown wild tree and grow up without the characteristics that customers want in their perfect Christmas trees. Why aren’t I selling them? I could slash them into the traditional shape, plant them into pots and sell them as little tabletop trees. Most of them are only about a foot tall. They’d be easy enough to pack and send in the post. I could have a website and sell them online.’

‘Are they going to grow big though? I’d love one but you’ve seen the size of my garden, I couldn’t plant it afterwards, and we’ve already had leaflets through the door saying the council are going to charge us thirty quid if we leave the Christmas tree out with the recycling. It’s a shame you can’t rent them out for Christmas and then take them back.’