Anton couldn’t take in what she said, because he was too confused with thoughts of his fumble in Berlin and the rumours he had heard of how much more was now expected of him.

He tried again to concentrate because he could see that what Delphine was saying was important to her. She was now talking about a man. A different man, not Anton, but a man she had known at home or perhaps in Paris – and then some long and painful disappointment.

‘… So you see why I have to be careful. I have to be sure.’

He was looking at the moles beneath her breasts that he could now see for the first time. He was not concentrating on her story.

‘Of course,’ he said.

She was clearly wanting to lay out some important truth before him. It was as though she wanted him never to have grounds for some future recrimination. He wished now he’d followed what she said more closely. He wanted to ask, ‘And are you sure?’, but was worried it might stall the momentum. He couldn’t believe this woman was about to grant his most passionate wish. Better to be silent.

He was still sitting on the bed when Delphine stepped out of the last of her underclothes and stood in front of him. ‘Anton, you won’t … betray me, will you? For all I’m giving you.’

He knelt down and rested his cheek against her. She stroked his hair.

‘Never.’

‘Now take your clothes off, too.’

When they lay down together on the bed, she began to talk in French to him, whispering instructions in his ear. He liked the change of language, into her own. It was as though she had taken him to her heart.

‘Oui. Comme ça. Doucement. Et je peux? Comme ça? Tu aimes?’

Anton felt the silent disapproval of his parents, the teacher at the Gymnasium looking on in disgust. Then she was touching him in a way that made all thought impossible, and then it was too late.

A few minutes later, Delphine said, ‘You’re an excellent man, Anton. Look at this.’ She touched the part that had disgraced him. ‘Let’s be patient. Swear to me that you’ll be patient with me, too.’

She seemed to be forgiving him. Perhaps she too had fears, he thought – fears of not being what she was supposed to be – but which of us really is? Then he sighed, and sank into the arms of her forgiveness, where she could now take care of everything, including him.

After a short time, he went outside and boiled some water on the landing. With some effort of will, he remained naked as he poured the boiling water and brought the tea back to the room.

‘Won’t they miss you?’ he said.

‘There’s a night porter. And I have an indoor key. The apartment is so huge they hardly know if I’m there or not.’

They talked for hours, but in a different way, as if there could be no pretence. Anton began to feel he had to invent more secrets, to betray confidences he had never taken on, so as not to disappoint Delphine’s curiosity. She was older and more worldly than he was; but she was also like a child who in some way now belonged to him.