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Lena began to feel uneasy as the sisters talked. Although they tried to involve her in the conversation, she felt that something was wrong. She looked hard into Martha’s eyes as she was talking about the need to find a successor to Dr Bernthaler, but couldn’t see the hint of a friendly conspiracy – of the two of them against the world – that had sometimes warmed her in the past. Reaching across for an éclair, Martha knocked her cup and spilt some tea in the saucer.
She burst into laughter. ‘It’s these wretched glasses. What on earth has happened to your eyes?’
‘You’re Charlotte, aren’t you?’ said Lena to her. ‘I knew there was something wrong.’
‘I’m sorry,’ said the twin with the glasses, taking them off and handing them back to her sister. ‘It’s a silly game we used to play as children. When only our cousin Daniel could tell the difference.’ She took off the black jacket and swapped it for her own green cardigan.
‘You shouldn’t have done that,’ said Lena.
‘I’m sorry,’ said Martha, back in her own jacket and silver-framed glasses. ‘You were gone such a long time … And we thought … We thought it would make you laugh.’
Lena said, ‘I’m sorry if you were bored while you were waiting for me.’
The sisters looked uncomfortable – and strangely young. Lena found a hot pressure growing at the rim of her eyes and swallowed hard.
‘Would you like some more chocolate?’ said Charlotte.
Her eyes were quite different from Martha’s, Lena thought: prettier, perhaps, but not as deep. She could see that now.
‘No, thank you,’ said Lena.
She turned to Martha. ‘I knew there was something wrong.’
Martha looked down.
‘People should be who they’re meant to be,’ said Lena. ‘They should come when they say they will. On your birthday, if that’s what you’ve agreed. I put everything on you, Fräulein. You were the first …’
‘Dear Lena …’ Martha reached a hand across the table.
‘You were not like my mother.’ She bit down hard. ‘And not like my father. You were different.’
‘I’m so sorry.’
Lena felt the heat leave her eyes, but she held Martha’s gaze as she pushed back her chair and stood up.
‘I was … I was absolute for you,’ she said.
The following day, Lena was on her way back from the kitchen garden when she saw Rudolf with a suitcase, walking across the grass courtyard.
‘There you are,’ he said. ‘I was looking for you.’
Lena glanced down at the clogs she was wearing and the mud on the thick stockings that went with the uniform.
‘I can’t talk to you,’ she said.
‘You can meet me before dinner. I know you have an hour off then.’
‘But I don’t want to talk to you.’
‘Then I shall have to come to your room.’
‘Are you leaving?’
‘Yes. There’s an evening coach. I’m taking my case over to Joseph now. He’ll drive me to the stop later.’