And like he heard my silent prayer, or most likely, the truth in the words his mom spoke, Jax says, “No thanks, Mr. Donny,” before joining his brothers as they attack the gummy bears on the table.

“I know you’re their mom and can’t pick favorites, but Jax is totally mine.” Brynn ignores the death stare Lavonne is trying to shoot through her skull. “That kid’s gonna rule the world.”

“He’ll rule something, alright. Maybe if football wasn’t still taking over their dad’s life, he’d be around to help more. But nope! Gotta love men and their priorities, am I right?” Lavonne exhales as if her life has fully and completely exhausted her. She’s smiling and I think I’m supposed to believe that she’s joking. When I glance at Brynn, there’s a look of concern on her face too.

“Anyway, I’m so rude.” Lavonne reaches out her hand to me, successfully diverting Brynn from calling her out in front of me and diving into her possible marital problems. “Brynn told me about you and all the work you’ve been doing for Q, and I feel like I already know you, but I don’t! I’m Vonnie, so nice to finally meet you, Elliot . . . even if it’s after you saw me nearly have to end one of my children.”

Ohmygod! Lavonne Lamar just told me to call her Vonnie. A nickname! Nicknames mean we’re friends. Vonnie is my new best friend. That’s just how it works, I don’t make the rules.

“It was honestly the highlight of my day so far,” I tell her truthfully. “And you can call me Elle.”

—

LIKE FOR REAL now, I think Vonnie and Brynn might actually be my friends. I don’t know how I will break the news to Marie and Liv that they’ve been replaced, but if they really love me, they’ll understand.

We’re sitting in the seats in front of Donny and I’m picking at the chicken finger I’m too full to eat, but want anyways, when Jack’s voice comes over the speaker and the audience comes alive.

Unlike the peons in the rest of the stadium, I have no need to stand. Instead I lean back into my seat—with cushion, not the plastic junk like everyone else has—like the overlord I am.

Holy shit.

It’s in this moment that I know this should be my last game in a box, if I ever even have the opportunity again. Clearly, it has all gone to my head very quickly.

“Denver Colorado! Get on your feet!” The instruction seems redundant, given that everybody—except for me, obvi—is already standing, but go off I guess, Jack. “Make some noise, Denver!”