Chapters (48)
- Cover
- PRAISE FOR ALEXA MARTIN’S PLAYBOOK SERIES
- Titles by Alexa Martin
- Dedication
- AUTHOR’S NOTE
- Prologue
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-one
- Twenty-two
- Twenty-three
- Twenty-four
- Twenty-five
- Twenty-six
- Twenty-seven
- Twenty-eight
- Twenty-nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-one
- Thirty-two
- Thirty-three
- Thirty-four
- Thirty-five
- Thirty-six
- Thirty-seven
- Thirty-eight
- Epilogue
- ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
- About the Author
- What’s next onyour reading list?
I’ve picked up my phone to call her so many times, but I could never go through with it. After the weeks went by, I regretted my decision, but it felt too late to go back. Part of me was afraid of the pain hearing her voice would cause. But mainly, it was the fear that she would be mad at me for running away and wouldn’t want to talk to me anymore. I couldn’t deal with losing another person. At least not knowing kept the possibilities alive.
“Oh, you stop that right now.” Her delicate touch lifting up my chin is in total contrast to the fire in her voice. A fire, I should add, that I’ve never heard from her before. “You don’t apologize for protecting yourself. I know how much you loved your dad, how much he loved you. You know I talked to him not long before he passed. And the only thing he was worried about was leaving you. He knew you needed to sell the house, but he was worried you wouldn’t. That’d you’d stay and all of the laughter buried in those walls would be washed away by sadness.”
The tears I work so hard to keep locked away start to beat against the barriers I have in place and I know I’m not going to be able to fight them much longer.
“I miss him.” I give life to the thought that runs through my head on an endless loop, but never dare say out loud. “I miss you. I miss the life from before. I don’t know how to be around everything that I want back and still move on.”
“Sweet girl.” Her hand, covered in wrinkles that only point to the wisdom in the life she’s lived, reaches up to wipe the tears I didn’t even realize had fallen. “You will miss him for the rest of your life. We never move on, we just learn to not only live with the pain but to welcome it. Because it’s all we have left of a love so great.”
I hate that for her. I hate knowing how long she’s been living with pain. But man am I grateful that it led her to me.
“Would you like to come see my place soon?” I sniffle and try to pull myself together. “I can make dinner and we can watch reruns of Scandal.”
“Oh yes, you know how much I enjoy that Olivia Pope. Just don’t try to make me eat any of that kale crap.” She pats my hand and I know we’re okay again. “I’m old. I don’t need to worry about my figure anymore.”
You make someone a kale salad one time! I swear.
“No kale, I promise.”