“So now are you ready to tell me what’s going on with you?” she asks. “I know you weren’t thrilled about this stint with Quinton, but Liv and Marie both said you were making it work and actually feeling really good about the work you two were doing.”

“Wait.” I replay her words in my head. “What?”

I know Liv and Marie have been going to HERS. They’ve invited me a few times, but because I’m busy trying not to get fired, I haven’t gone. Friday nights spent writing statements that are continually ignored—but still requested—isn’t as much fun as I initially thought. Plus, I have the added benefit of sorting through the hate mail aimed at Quinton, which has been rerouted to me. Speaking of, if people who love the Second Amendment so much had the same enthusiasm for the First Amendment, my job would be so much easier . . . and less scary. What I didn’t know, however, was that I’ve been the subject of their conversations when they went to HERS without me.

“They’ve been coming in and doing gin tastings. They’ve been super helpful. I have three new cocktails ready for winter.” She doesn’t even pretend to be a little bit sorry that she’s boozing up my friends to gain intel.

And I’ll be having a conversation with Liv and Marie soon. I mean really? Betrayed in the name of gin?

How rude.

But also, relatable. I’d totally turn on them for whiskey.

“Okay, so yes, things were getting better.” I start to sit on the ground before remembering we’re still in the bathroom and activate my glutes and hamstrings harder than I ever have in my entire thirty-one years on this earth. Maybe if I get fired, I can start a new workout trend that takes place in public restrooms? I mean, spinning is so last year.

“That was, quite possibly, the greatest squat save I’ve ever witnessed,” Brynn says.

“Thank you!” I shout, even though I know it’s probably heard throughout the entire venue. But nothing gets me more excited than a simple compliment. “My knees didn’t even pop!”

“Even more impressive,” she says. I get the distinct feeling that now she’s mocking me. “Now that I know how you have the world’s nicest ass, would you like to explain to me what the hell is going on with you out there?”

“He’s just a jackass.” My eyes start to twitch just thinking about that day at his house.

“And . . .” Brynn motions me to continue. “More than four words would be helpful.”