Jeeeez. Glad I came in when this place was shut down after all.

“What the fuck is a DUFF?” Vonnie butts in, not here for high school tales and fucking same, Vonnie! “And why are we talking about Cam when we could be discussing Q’s fine self and Elle’s cute ass climbing in his car last night?”

“You know, a DUFF.” I wave her off.

“Saying the word again does not clear this up,” Vonnie says.

Of course super-stunning Vonnie has no idea what it is.

“It’s the designated ugly fat friend,” I decode, but I’m more focused on the tray of french fries and grilled cheese sandwiches that Tanya is dropping off on our table.

I knew Brynn was going to come through with the hangover food!

I reach across the table to grab some, but all I get is the taste of unexpected defeat. Brynn snatches the tray out of my reach.

“What the hell?” I ask, but when I look up, everyone at the table is wearing matching glares. “Umm . . . did I miss something?”

“Are you out of your ever-loving fucking mind?” Brynn puts the tray of fried goodness at the far end of the table. “Did you just call yourself ugly?”

“She did,” Vonnie says to Brynn while staying laser focused on me. “That’s exactly what she said.”

I hate being the center of attention, it gives me hives. I flip through my PR playbook until I find something that I think will work here. “You guys, relax. I said was and it was a joke!”

I mean, do I still have some body image issues? Of course I do! Who doesn’t? But it definitely doesn’t need the attention it’s getting right now.

Nobody says anything, they all just stare at me, trying to break me with their eyes. But I don’t give in.

“I hope so,” Brynn says at last, sliding a plate with a grilled cheese in front of me. “Because otherwise I have no problem locking you in here and telling you how wonderful you are until you believe it.”

“We’ve done it before, so don’t test us.” Vonnie drains the last bit of her martini and I’m pretty sure I was the reason behind the sudden consumption.

“I fucking love you guys,” Marie says to the table. “Anytime you want cupcakes, come see me. They’re on the house.”

“Okay.” Liv claps her hands to get our attention. “Now that that’s under control, can we get back to the topic at hand?” She turns to look at me and I swear she can see into my soul. “What the fuck happened with you and Quinton last night?”

Now, as bad as the self-help, self-love intervention might’ve been, I know with one hundred percent certainty that it would’ve been more enjoyable than this.