“How can it have happened?”

“It must have been at Worthing, when the thing came off inside me.”

That trip to the coast had been the high point of their relationship, really, never to be repeated.

They came to a bench, still damp from earlier rain. He spread out his newspaper for her to sit on, accepting the wet seat as his due. With the small change of decent behavior he had always been generous.

“How did you meet?” Howard asked.

“He came to the door one day selling insurance. I mean, I assume he was an insurance salesman. It’s hardly something you would invent to impress. I can’t even use the excuse that I was young and innocent. I was twenty-nine. I really ought to have known better.”

“It must have left you with a very low opinion of men,” said Howard.

“Oh, I don’t know about men. It took me a couple of years even to revise my opinion of Frank—I was so infatuated. I only knew I’d finally recovered when I saw him from a bus window on Piccadilly and didn’t feel a thing. There was a time when I’d have jumped off a moving bus to chase after someone who merely looked like him. You see, Howard, I wasn’t always the sensible woman you see today.”

“I’m only sorry you had to live through it all to become her.”

She gave him a grateful glance. Never before had she considered that all these experiences that had nearly demolished her had built her into something better.

“Thank you for listening. I’m sorry for going on.”

They were crossing the common now and nearly home. Jean felt a weightlessness; the deep relief of the confessional.

“You didn’t go on. I’m glad you could tell me.”

“My only regret is the baby. She’d be ten now.” Jean blushed. “I don’t know why I say ‘she.’”

The reflective silence that followed this remark lasted the few minutes that remained of the journey.

18

Pam’s Piece

With orchards and gardens bursting with delicious Kentish apples, now is the time to fetch out those favorite recipes. Spiced Apple Cake is simple to make and a nice change from a pie. It works well served warm with custard, or cold with a cup of tea in place of a traditional fruit cake.

3 apples, peeled, cored and sliced

2 tsp golden syrup

1 tbsp butter

1 tsp ground cinnamon

Sponge mix:

4 oz butter

2 tbsp golden syrup

4 oz caster sugar

2 eggs

4 oz self-raising flour

1 tbsp milk

Simmer the apples with the syrup, butter and cinnamon for a few minutes until tender but not mushy. To prepare the topping, soften the butter and golden syrup in a bowl over a basin of hot water. Remove from the heat and beat in the sugar and eggs. Fold in the flour, adding milk to give the consistency of lightly whipped cream. Place the apple chunks in a greased pan or ovenproof dish and pour over the topping. Bake at Gas Mark 4 for 25 to 30 minutes until the sponge is golden brown and springy to touch.