“Like what?”

“Like school, right? My grades got better. But I wasn’t doing better work. My teachers just knew who I was, and they liked me.”

Ashley saw her sister graduate, start working at the same nursing home as their mom. She didn’t want that. Not for herself. But she couldn’t swim forever, and though she’d done fine in school, none of the subjects grabbed her. A girl in her neighborhood went on The Bachelor, and though she was eliminated early, she made good money after that, getting paid to show up at parties and promote products. That was when Ashley signed up for casting lists, started interviewing for shows. Anything that could keep her important, even in her own small world. Her favorite shows were nature- or adventure-related—she’d always liked moving her body, being outdoors—but she wasn’t picky. She tried out for singing shows, for modeling. She auditioned for Jeopardy!

“So then you can be famous,” Mara said.

“It’s the next step.”

“To what?”

“I don’t know. To getting by.”

“But why?”

Ashley shrugged.

“What do you want?” Mara said. “Like, when you picture yourself famous, what are you doing?”

“It sounds weird,” Ashley said.

“Look at us,” said Mara. “We’re wearing matching outfits and starving in some random forest. Nothing is weirder than this.”

Ashley laughed. “Okay. You know those nature shows you watch in school? When the science teachers are hungover or whatever, and they don’t want to teach?”

Mara couldn’t remember. She hadn’t had a science teacher in a long time. But she nodded like she did.

“The hosts on those shows, they’re always happy. They’re excited, talking about trees or dolphins or whatever. Something new every episode. And I always thought that would be the best job. I don’t want to work with kids directly. I don’t like kids that much. But it seems nice to make a show for them, something they’d look forward to. I’d call it, I don’t know—”

“Ashley’s Adventures.”

Ashley laughed. “I thought of that one!” Then she flopped back on the grass. “It seems like a realistic dream, right? Everyone wants to be a movie star. I’m not trying to do that. I just want my life to be a life, you know? Something that’s actually for me.”

Mara wondered what it was like to be Ashley. Being on Civilization, earning money, was the first big thing Mara had done, and even then the show had found her; she didn’t seek it out. But where Mara drifted, Ashley steered. Where would Mara be in a year, if she acted like that? Somewhere better. Somewhere other than here.

They both tired easily. But Mara loved those hours, those days, carving and resting, taking turns with the knife. When Ashley talked, Mara worked, and she felt like she could work forever. Like she dissolved, listening. And then Ashley would sit up, encourage Mara to take a break, and Mara went along with it, because then she could lie back and watch Ashley instead. The furrowed brow in her dry face. Her swift and narrow fingers. Watching her, Mara forgot her hunger. She forgot everything else.