‘A couple of years. Three, maybe. Mostly arms, chest. She got my face a couple of times. I’d had to tell you, and the lads at work, that I’d walked into a lamppost, or a door. Clumsy eedjit and all that. I was never going to be the type of man to hit her back.’

‘Was it because she found out you were …?’ It still didn’t seem fathomable.

‘I wasn’t. Not then, anyway. What I mean is, I didn’t know any more than she did, not really.’ He sighed and put his hand round to cradle the back of his head. ‘No. It was just her and this – anger, a crazy sort, coming from nowhere. She’d always had the temper, but – one day it went that bit further.’ His eyes drifted to the side of him, as if visiting the memory. ‘She’d use whatever was nearest. Book. Ashtray. You’d be surprised how much of a mark a hairdryer leaves.’ He glanced up at Matty, and there was shame there. ‘It wasn’t just the being hit. It was the stuff she said. Really vicious. If not that, then the silent treatment. She just stripped me bare, after a while.’

Matty should have known, at the time. Should have seen.

He gave a noisy sigh. ‘Anyway, so it was going from bad to worse, and I did my damnedest to keep you in the dark over it, and I ended up going swimming. At the Ponds, there. It just became a bit of a refuge. No women.’ A weak smile. ‘I got talking to this guy one time, and I’d see him there on and off. He was just someone good to talk to, you know? I ended up telling him everything, because I couldn’t tell anyone who knew me. And that guy turned out to be the one I’m still living with.’ He glanced over towards the kitchen. ‘He said he’d take me away for a while. I thought that sounded nice.’ The huge, weighted irony of understatement.

‘Did you tell her about him? Mamma?’

‘Not in so many words, no. It was bad enough as it was, between us.’ He put his fingers absent-mindedly to his mouth. ‘I would have told her, if she’d ever let me speak to her.’ He looked more animated. ‘I never thought she’d have gone so far, Matty. Said that to you. Or hidden the letters. Or everything – taken you away, moved, left no bloody trace.’

‘You left me with her.’

‘I didn’t think it would be forever. I know it wasn’t right, Matty. I’m sorry. I just – I couldn’t take it anymore. I just needed to get away for a bit. I knew she’d never hurt you. She was only hell-bent on knocking the crap out of me.’

‘I thought she might hit me, once.’

He looked up, startled.