The SC apparently means something special but I don’t see what was so special about this bloke. He came to visit me at the remand centre, all excited about representing the lady from the Horror House, but the only thing I wanted to know was, ‘When can you get me out of here?’

Do you know what he said? He said, ‘Don’t worry, I’m planning to get as many women off the jury as I can.’ Honestly, that’s what he said!

I said, ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ He said, ‘Women tend to be much tougher on other women than men are, especially when it’s crimes against children.’

I said, ‘I haven’t committed any crimes, and I definitely haven’t committed any crimes against children.’

He seemed to think that was hilarious, saying, ‘That’s what I want to hear! You’re off to a good start!’

He also told me, ‘The reason they have you on remand is that they hope you’ll talk to somebody in here about what you’ve done, so trust nobody and say nothing.’

I said, ‘As if I’d talk to anyone in here.’

He sat back in his chair with his hands behind his head, kind of smiling, and said, ‘You know there’s a Facebook page in your honour?’ He looked pretty pleased, but then he sat bolt upright and said, ‘But that’s the kind of publicity we don’t want!’

Of course I also asked him about Mark, saying, ‘Who’s he got representing him? He’s not going to be able to cope in here. He’s got addiction problems.’ But Barrett would only tell me that Mark was in ‘good hands’, whatever that meant.

He asked me if there was anything he could do on the outside for me, like organise to get any cats fed, and I said I had no cats. He said, ‘Do you want me to organise to get Delaney House rented out? Mark has told his lawyer that it’s up to you,’ and I said, ‘Why would we want to rent it out? We’re going to move back in there when we get bail.’

Barrett said, ‘Bail! You need to understand that they’re going to hold you here until the trial and that could be next year, Snow. The wheels of justice move pretty slowly in New South Wales.’

I said, ‘Hang on a minute, isn’t it your job to get me out of here?’

He said, ‘The problem is, you’ve already been tried in the court of public opinion, and what do you think would happen if the judge let you out on bail? The newspapers would go nuts; the Premier would carry on; the Opposition would do the whole “soft on crime” drama.’

I said, ‘Alright, rent it out, but only for six months until we get out,’ and I was thinking, ‘I wonder how much we will get for it?’ And, ‘We might actually make money while I’m here on remand, and wouldn’t that be funny?’ But that dream didn’t last long because the next time Barrett came back he said he couldn’t rent Delaney House out after all.