VINNIE: Now what in the hell’s going on with you? I want you to put your clothes on. Pull yourself together and go out and buy me a bottle of bourbon! You owe me a bottle of bourbon.

CARTER: Where?

VINNIE: Just get dressed! I’ll tell you where when you get your clothes back on.

CARTER stumbles towards his clothes and starts trying to put them on but can’t manage it.

VINNIE: I have never seen anybody make such a big deal out of a hangover.

CARTER: It’s not just that.

VINNIE: That’s all it is! Amateur drinking! That’s all it is!

CARTER: I’m completely cut off, Vinnie! I’m dying.

Pause.

VINNIE: What the fuck are you talking about? You weren’t dying a couple a’ days ago. You were full of yourself. You were strutting around here like a Banty rooster.

CARTER: I’m dying now.

VINNIE: Have you caught something? Have you found out that you have something?

CARTER: That would be easy, wouldn’t it?

VINNIE: Easy?

CARTER: That would be understandable.

VINNIE: Do you want me to take you to the Emergency Room?

CARTER: You don’t drive. Remember?

VINNIE: You can drive yourself. I’ll go along with you. I’ll ride shotgun.

CARTER: No.

VINNIE: No, what?

CARTER: I’m not going to the Emergency Room! It’s past that.

VINNIE: You’re giving up the ghost?

CARTER (still struggling to dress): I’m dying.

VINNIE: Stop saying that! (Pause, mocks him.) “I’m dying! I’m dying!” Good God—what a maudlin son-of-a-bitch you’ve turned out to be. What’s happened to you? Have you been laying around here, feeling sorry for yourself? Moping in the dark? In my bed!

Pause.

CARTER: I can’t get my pants on.

VINNIE: Jesus Christ!

CARTER: I can’t.

VINNIE: Here—let me help you.

VINNIE goes to him and holds his pants while CARTER attempts to put his legs in.

VINNIE: Stop shaking and lift your leg! Just stop all that shaking and chattering.

CARTER (as he tries to lift his leg): I’m not going back there, you know.

VINNIE: Just lift your leg up!

CARTER: I’m not.

VINNIE: All right, you’re not going back there. That’s fine. You need to get dressed first.

CARTER: I’m not going back, Vinnie.

VINNIE: Will you lift your goddamn leg!

CARTER: I’m staying here.

VINNIE grabs his leg and forces it into the pants as CARTER hangs onto his shoulder. They struggle for balance, with the pants, going in small circles.

CARTER: I’m going to change my name.

VINNIE: Good.

CARTER: I’m going to disappear.

VINNIE: That’s great.

CARTER: I’m going to stay here with you.

VINNIE: No, you’re not.

CARTER: I’ll pay half the rent.

VINNIE: You’re paying all of it now.

CARTER: I’ll pay half.

VINNIE: Pull your pants up! Pull them up!