‘Don’t try to be funny. How do you think he feels being kicked out so that you can move in a boyfriend who’s only a couple of years older than him?’

‘He’s not moving in.’

‘Oh! So you admit he’s your boyfriend, then?’

‘Have I ever tried to deny it?’

‘I can’t believe you, Mum. Do you have any idea how embarrassing this is for me?’

‘Isabelle, darling, you’re not fourteen any more. You’re an adult. Allegedly.’

‘You fucking bitch. I’m sorry, but you drive me to it.’

‘I see,’ said Christine. ‘It’s my fault, as usual, like every other thing that seems to go wrong in your life. What’s the matter this time, Isabelle? Bank not coming up trumps? Need another couple of thou to tide you over? Will not quite the surefire bet he appeared to be? Or is there something else that you’re not telling me?’

‘Like what?’

‘It hasn’t escaped my notice that you’re losing weight, you’re as thin as a rail, and you look . . . Well, you don’t look well.’

‘What are you implying, Mum? That I’m on drugs?’

‘Well? Are you?’

‘Of course I’m not bloody on drugs.’

‘I hope not, because I’ve seen the damage that drugs can do to people . . .’

‘Here we go again. Spare me the lecture, Mum. I’ve heard it a million times.’

‘But you haven’t listened, apparently. If I suspected for one moment that you’re using drugs – that you’re spending money that I give you to buy drugs – I would . . .’

‘Oh, I see. It’s not the fact that I might just accidentally kill myself. It’s the fact that it’s your money. Great. Thanks a lot.’

This sounded, to Christine, uncomfortably like an admission. Whenever she tried to express serious concern for her daughter, she usually ended up sounding authoritarian. She tried to soften her voice.

‘Darling, if you are having problems . . .’

‘My only problem right now is that my mother is shacked up with a man half her age.’

‘Right.’ Christine felt tears rising, and swallowed hard. ‘Well, if that’s your only problem, you can put your mind at ease. I can look after myself.’

‘And what about Ben?’

‘What about Ben?’

‘How do you think he feels, having his nose rubbed in it? God, he’ll be scared to bring any of his friends home in case you pounce.’

‘You really can be incredibly hurtful when you try, Isabelle.’

‘I’m only telling you what everyone is thinking.’

‘Well thank you. That’s very dutiful of you, I’m sure. And now you’ve discharged that duty, perhaps you can either tell me what you’ve come here for, or leave me to enjoy the rest of my weekend.’

‘You’re throwing me out?’

‘Well, you’re welcome to join me and Joel . . .’