Bellamy had tried and obviously failed to break free from his otherworldly duties in order to stay with her. She cried whenever she imagined him trying. Maybe he was trying still, somewhere, railing against the higher powers as he pictured Rose, in whichever ways he remembered her, desperately fighting the impossible fight against death and fate. That idea would always make her cry.

Always.

Then she'd lost her mom. Those tears needed no explanation, no rationale. But the thing that upset her most, that continued to nag at her weeks later when she returned to her mom's apartment to start boxing up her personal effects, was how helpless she felt. How utterly freaking ineffectual. Mom had died, Hank had died, Bellamy had vanished from her life, and she hadn't been able to prevent any of it. It had all just happened right there in front of her, like watching someone just fall from a cliff and you’re unable to jump after them. The most important things ever to have happened to her and all she could do was watch. These people she loved had been fighting the most powerful forces in the universe and all she'd done was think of herself, how selfish they were being for not including her.

She flipped through her mom's diary, ready to just toss it into the box. She leafed straight to the dog-eared final entry, glimpsed the name “Rose” several times, and had to sit down before forcing herself to read. Painful to relive that final day, but maybe it would help to know her mom's true state of mind before the fateful road trip.

Dearest Rose,

If what I've imagined happening is about to happen, this will be the last thing I ever get to write. Know that I write it thinking of you, only you, as I have thought of you these past few bittersweet days we've spent together.

I will die tomorrow night. There is no getting around that. I don't want it, I don't welcome it, and there is little comfort in knowing for certain that there is life after death. But there must be life after death. Bellamy is proof of that. He is not of this world, Rose, though he was once. When he died, he was called upon and offered an extraordinary duty and he accepted it with grace, which he has done for centuries. He guides the souls of the deceased across to the Great Beyond, as he calls it. He came to guide me.