Because people judge women who have been in abusive relationships! I stood up again and started pacing. I know you’re going to say you would never have judged me, but you wouldn’t believe the number of people who I’ve heard talk about victims as if they were stupid, as if they could have easily got themselves out of the situation earlier, or not got into it in the first place. Not to mention those who say there must be another side to the story, what did she do to him, and so on. I didn’t tell a lot of people what happened between me and Mike – even Anna and Gem don’t know absolutely everything – because once it was over that was exactly how I wanted it. Over.

Max shook his head and stood up again. Now that I was standing still again it was his turn to pace the room with his hands in his hair. I watched him for a moment, my stomach churning. Should I have told him sooner? Did I do the right thing? Or had I blown my chance to have a healthy relationship with a decent man?

Eventually Max stopped pacing and turned to look at me.

Anna said that Mike wants you back.

I felt a churning sensation in the pit of my stomach, a mixture of fear at where Max was going with this, and anger at Anna for throwing that revelation in the mix.

He’s claimed he does, but I have no interest in him any more, I told him, stepping forward and putting my hands on his arms.

When she told me that, it made sense. Why you’ve been holding yourself back. I thought you might have been considering it, but then you realised he might be a murderer. The smile had gone, replaced with a stony expression.

What? I was aghast at his train of thought. I was willing to hear Mike’s apology, because that’s what he claimed to be offering, but I don’t think he actually has any remorse for what happened. Yes, I was stupid enough to think he’d changed, but that doesn’t mean I’d ever consider dating him again, even if I were single.

There was a long pause, and I had my heart in my mouth.

I’m sorry Paige, he signed, avoiding eye contact. I can’t think straight at the moment. I think I should go home.

Fine. If that’s what you want. I told myself I wasn’t going to apologise for keeping something to myself when I didn’t want to share it. If he chose to end things because of it, that was his problem. Still, as he walked out of the door I found myself bursting into tears.