‘No, technically that was self-inflicted.’ I took a gulp of tea, knowing I needed to continue. ‘In amongst the financial trouble, I didn’t even notice him stopping me from going out. Not at first anyway. He would talk me out of going to see Gem or visiting Anna, saying he really wanted to spend the time with me, he missed me too much, things like that. Then it tipped over into the manipulative behaviour – didn’t I care about him? Wasn’t he enough for me? Couldn’t I see how my selfishness was affecting him? Whenever I did see my friends, I felt guilty that I was leaving him alone, and I always made excuses to leave early. They could all see what I was blind to, and they all told me he was manipulating me, but I was in love. It worked in Mike’s favour, because I didn’t want to see them if they were slagging off the man I loved.

‘As time went on, I never knew what sort of mood he was going to be in. We had some wonderful romantic evenings, when he told me just how wonderful I was, though he often followed it up with an assurance that if I ever left him he’d kill himself, or me, or both. We had some evenings where he would calmly list all of my faults and flaws, and tell me just how lucky I was that someone like him loved me despite them. The worst times were when he let his anger loose – he would shout and rail at me as if I’d caused everything bad that had ever happened to him. Anything could trigger his rage, from him deciding he didn’t like the meal I’d cooked to me painting my nails. I learnt to avoid a lot of triggers, but they were like Medusa’s heads, more kept popping up until I couldn’t keep track.