No, I’m working with the police again, and … I paused, wondering how much I should say. He’s connected.

He’s a murder suspect? Doesn’t surprise me, she signed, her mouth a grim line.

That’s not what I said, I admonished her. Forget about the circumstances. The important thing is that I’ve been forced to speak to him and spend time in the same room as him, and I’m worried I’ve not got over the whole thing as fully as I thought I had.

Gem frowned. You don’t mean you’re still attracted to him?

What? Oh God no, I reassured her. No, I meant that I don’t feel as confident around him as I want to be. I’m angry at myself for not being able to put up these mental barriers against him.

Nobody ever expected you to be superhuman, Paige, Gem reassured me. What you went through with him was horrible; nobody would be able to put all of that completely behind them. You know you could probably talk to Singh about pressing charges now?

I shook my head. I don’t want to dredge it all up again. Besides, he’s actually apologised.

Seriously?

I nodded. It surprised me too. It doesn’t change anything that happened, but it does feel better to have him acknowledge what he did to me.

I suppose. Don’t get sucked in by him though, she warned.

I won’t, I told her. There’s something else, though.

What?

I haven’t told Max about Mike.

Why not?

I thought for a moment before answering, looking round at the people dancing and drinking, enjoying their night out.

I think because I didn’t want his pity. I didn’t want him to think I was weak. And I didn’t want him worrying about his own behaviour, trying to go out of his way not to be like my ex, if you see what I mean? Max isn’t anything like Mike, and I know that because he’s being himself in our relationship. I don’t want him to change how he behaves because of how he thinks I might react.

But what happens when he finds out? Gem asked. Because he will find out, sooner or later. Someone will say something to him, or to you when he’s there, and eventually the story will come out. The longer you keep it from him, the more hurt he’s going to be when he finds out just how much you haven’t told him.