I want to ask her what made the light go out of her eyes right then, but it feels too personal. Too pushy. Instead, we walk through the halls, both quiet now. Camille is lost in her thoughts and I’m lost, too, if I’m being honest. I’ve never given a ton of thought to what I might want to do when high school is over. It’s a big decision, and one I’ve pushed out of my head whenever it taps at me. Julian has had a capital P Plan since we were kids, and now even Camille seems to know exactly what she wants. Is it okay not to know? The thought sticks in my gut and I readjust my bag and clear my throat to try to shake it loose.

“You ready for Powder Puff tonight?” I ask Camille, desperate to chase away the gathering cloud above our heads and change the subject before she asks me what my plans are after graduation.

Camille brightens again. “We’re going to crush those cheerleaders this year,” she says. “The Guardettes are ready.”

I laugh. I have to admit that I’m looking forward to watching the Guardettes go at it against the cheer squad. Especially if they’re all taking it as seriously as Camille is.

“Hey, let me ask you something,” I say to her.

“Anything.”

“Why do you think Julian is so down on homecoming?”

She rolls her eyes. “Psh. Your guess is as good as mine. I’m sure it has to do with him having to plan the pranks. You know that kind of goofing off is really not in his DNA. I keep trying to get him to lighten up, but he’s wound tighter than a tick.”

“You think he’ll actually do it? Plan the pranks?”

“I think he’ll do them his way,” Camille says. “Eventually. After a lot of kicking and screaming.” She laughs. “Do you think you’ll go? To the homecoming dance after the Taylor game?”

“I… I don’t think so,” I answer.

“Why not? It’s a lot of fun! Find yourself a date; you get to wear a garter around school. I know you missed all that stuff freshman year.”

I think about Julian’s face last night when Camille talked about Reece and the mum he made for Julian. I wonder what that would feel like. Having someone care about me enough to make me a homecoming garter. I wonder what it would feel like to wear it to school, and everyone would know that I had a boyfriend. Someone who cared about me. Someone who would show up for me.

“I would like to go,” I say. “But I don’t know. It still seems pretty far off. I think it might take a while for people to get used to seeing me around again.”