Ms. Birdie sets out a feast of pork chops, mashed potatoes, and peas. Julian digs in without even looking at me. I try to relax, but everything feels wrong. I don’t know why I thought Julian would be okay with any of this. I feel too big for this room. Like I’m taking up too much space and too much oxygen. I pull the smallest pork chop from the plate Ms. Birdie passes me and only one scoop of potatoes, even though I know I could probably eat the whole bowl by myself.

From the dining table, I can see the brown house across the street. My stomach churns, and I have to work to swallow a mouthful of peas. The brown shingles are the same, though they look like they’ve seen a few touch-up paint jobs. The white trim on the front porch isn’t flaking, and there are two bright white rockers and a bunch of hanging ferns near the front door. I wonder what kind of family now lives inside. Wonder who is sleeping in my old room and whether they look out the window into Julian’s front yard and think about him the way I used to.

I catch sight of him across the table, head down. The curve of his ear, the movement in his jaw while he eats, it’s all so familiar and so foreign at the same time.

“Things must look a little different than they did when you were here last, Elijah,” Ms. Birdie says in a voice too loud for the room.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“First Federal Bank has closed, where your mother used to work,” she says.

I just nod.

Ms. Birdie keeps up a steady stream of chatter, noting what’s still the same about Meridien and what may have changed since I lived across the street.

Julian gets up from the table in the middle of Ms. Birdie’s tour of Meridien, puts his plate in the sink, and heads down the hallway. There’s a heavy rock in my chest I can’t swallow past.

“He’ll come around,” Ms. Birdie whispers.

“Does he know about Coley?” I ask, throat still tight.

“Not my story to tell,” Ms. Birdie says. “You can tell him when you’re ready.” She smiles at me and then reaches across the table to give me an awkward hug. I melt into her. “I’m so happy to have you here. Don’t you worry about Julian. Now you show me some pictures of that sweet baby girl while I get these dishes.”